After leaving school, I headed for the station.
The test was a total disaster. This had never happened to me before.
...Distressing memories kept resurfacing in my mind.
“......It's been a long time, Kanade.”
In elementary school, Kanade was popular.
She was beautiful, cheerful, kind... a perfect girl who didn't even make others feel jealous.
However, after a certain day, Kanade started being treated as if she wasn't there in the classroom.
It wasn't because she was bullied.
It was because she suffered from a serious illness, to the point of being given a death sentence.
The hospital room I went to, led by my mother.
The sight of Kanade, whom I met again after several months, was...
Today, Kanade was absent from school.
Even though she had been studying so hard for our test competition with so much energy until yesterday, the day of the exam.
...I have some thoughts about her efforts not being rewarded. There's also a part of me that thinks there's no way a God who only lets her suffer exists.
But, amidst the various emotions swirling inside me, what I am thinking about most right now...
“......You're not going to die, right, Kanade?”
She once came close to death.
Due to a serious illness that couldn't be treated domestically, she once almost lost her beauty, her cheerful personality, and even her life...
Fortunately, she is still living safely now.
However... this was her first absence due to illness since our reunion.
...There was no way the thought of parting with her, which had once felt distant, wouldn't cross my mind.
Thanks to that, I couldn't focus on the test at all.
And I couldn't just sit still.
That's why I... was being shaken by the train, heading toward her house.
Her home after returning from France was in a different location than before.
I had heard the address from Kanade herself earlier.
“Please come over and play sometime.”
She had smiled at me when she told me the address.
However... until yesterday, we had only ever hung out at my house, and I had never once stopped by hers.
That's why... now, I'm regretting it a little.
“To think I'd be visiting her new home for the first time in this state...”
Honestly, I wanted that moment to happen in a more peaceful way. Thinking that, my chest felt a little tight.
I got off the train two stations before my own home station.
I exited the ticket gate of a station I only knew by name, walked through a station front I had never seen... and headed toward a quiet residential area.
“Is it here?”
Kanade's new home was a tower mansion.
I passed through the magnificent entrance feeling intimidated and typed her room number in front of the auto-lock door.
After a few rings...
“Yes?”
A woman's voice came from the intercom.
“Um...”
It wasn't Kanade's voice, so I spoke up timidly.
“Could it be Ak-kun?”
“Eh? Ah, yes.”
“Oh my, you've grown so big! It's me, it's me. Kanade-mama.”
“Ah, it was you, Obasan.”
Over the machine, I didn't recognize her at all.
“By any chance, did you come to visit Kanade?”
Visiting the sick. I hated that phrase.
“......Yes.”
“I see. Thank you. ...I'm sorry.”
“Eh?”
My heart felt restless.
“Oh, no, no. I actually want to talk to you properly after so long, but unfortunately, I have to go to work now. So I have to leave right away.”
“Ah, I see.”
“Yeah. So, let's celebrate our reunion properly next time. My daughter just won't let you come near our home at all.”
“......Haha.”
“Probably because the house she used to live in is gone. She misses your house, which is still there and where you two used to play a lot.”
...I see. Was that the reason Kanade kept coming to my house?
“Ah, sorry. I started talking about something gloomy. I'll open the door.”
“Ah, please do.”
When the auto-lock automatic door opened, I boarded the elevator.
Then, getting off on the third floor... I arrived in front of the room number Kanade had told me and rang the chime.
“Yes!”
When the door opened, Obasan was standing there with a smile.
“Long time no see, Ak-kun.”
“Long time no see... Obasan.”
“Yeah. Sorry, I really have to leave now.”
“Ah, yes.”
Looking closely, Obasan was wearing a suit.
“Well then, I'm counting on you to take care of my daughter.”
As soon as Obasan let me into the room, she brushed past me toward the entrance.
“Enjoy yourselves~!”
“Yes.”
With a 'clack,' the door closed.
...In the wide and quiet interior, I decided to look for Kanade's room.
Changing room.
Toilet.
Kitchen.
Living room.
...I found a few family photos on a bookshelf at the edge of the living room.
A photo of the family of three smiling harmoniously during a camping trip in Japan.
A photo of a trip in France... with Kanade wearing a knit hat on her head with her family.
...And then, a two-shot photo of me and Kanade in our childhood.
This photo was definitely from a neighborhood Bon Festival.
A photo of Kanade stealing the yakisoba I was eating from the side.
After this, I burst into tears because I was shocked that she ate my yakisoba, but...
“I'm sorry, Ak-kun. As an apology, I'll be with Ak-kun forever.”
Seeing Kanade's smile, I immediately stopped crying.
...At that time, I never imagined that something like that would happen to Kanade afterward.
This was no time to be sentimental.
I searched for Kanade's room.
The next room I opened was... Kanade's parents' bedroom.
And then, finally...
“......Found you.”
Kanade's bedroom.
She was peacefully breathing while sleeping on the bed.
“......She's alive.”
I listened to her breathing once, twice... three times. Listening many times, I confirmed that her life was still being woven today.
...I felt the tension that had been building up finally snap and loosen.
I felt like crouching down right there and shedding tears of relief, but I couldn't do that.
“......I guess I'll make some rice porridge and wait.”
I decided to borrow the kitchen.
While making food with clumsy movements... I decided to patiently wait for her to wake up.
Struggling through the cooking... I wonder how much time has passed.
Suddenly, the door to Kanade's bedroom opened.
“......Ak-kun?”
“Good morning, Kanade.”
Kanade appeared with a cooling gel sheet stuck to her forehead.
She... perhaps finding it quite unexpected that I was in her house, had her eyes wide in surprise.
“Did your fever go down?”
“......Eh? Ah, no. I still feel sluggish.”
“I see.”
I took off the apron and approached Kanade.
“......Eh?”
Kanade's eyes wavered with anxiety.
Her fresh reaction piqued a bit of my sadistic side, but I held it back.
“Sleep a little more.”
I carried Kanade on my back and headed to her bedroom.
“......Ak-kun's back is warm.”
“Is that so?”
“......Yeah.”
I laid Kanade, who had entrusted her body to me, down on the bed and touched her neck. She definitely still felt feverish.
“......Well then, I'll go finish the rice porridge, so sleep a little more, okay?”
“I'm not sleepy anymore.”
“Really? Then... I'll be back soon.”
“......Ak-kun.”
“What?”
“Be quick, okay?”
“Understood.”
I went back to the kitchen and quickly finished the rice porridge.
“It's done.”
“Thanks.”
The weakened sight of Kanade sitting up in bed... combined with her fragile smile, brought back those old unpleasant memories again.
“Ak-kun?”
“Ah, sorry.”
I unintentionally froze in front of the door, but I started walking as if to cover it up.
“Here.”
I handed her the tray, but...
“Pui!”
Kanade turned her head away.
“Ak-kun.”
“Yes.”
“Feed me.”
It couldn't be helped.
“Can you open your mouth?”
“Aahn.”
“Whew. Whew.”
I brought the rice porridge to Kanade's mouth.
Scooping the porridge with a spoon, cooling it a bit, bringing it to her mouth...
After repeating that act dozens of times... she finished the rice porridge.
“It was delicious.”
“It's store-bought.”
“But it was delicious.”
“I see.”
I stood up.
“What time will Obasan be back?”
“Maybe in the evening.”
“I see. ...Then, I'll stay until then.”
“......Huh?”
Kanade tilted her head slightly.
“Wasn't this rice porridge meant for dinner?”
“......”
“By the way, what time is it now?”
“......”
“Ak-kun, what about the test?”
...Kanade was making an odd expression.
Why are you making such a sad face...? Wishing to reassure her, I smiled.
“I wasn't feeling well. I didn't take it.”
Actually... the moment I heard Kanade was unwell, I felt a violent dizziness.
“......I was more worried about you than the test.”
“Sorry...”
“I wondered if you were going to disappear again. Thinking about that, the test was the last thing on my mind.”
“Sorry. Ak-kun......”
Kanade was crying.
“Because of me... Ak-kun's dream has been shattered.”
Seeing Kanade shed such painful tears... I smiled once more.
“Are you talking about the study abroad in France?”
Kanade nodded silently.
“If so... didn't it turn out the way you wished? Is there a need to be sad?”
“......Not like this.”
Kanade's voice was trembling.
“Not in this way! I didn't want my wish to come true like this!”
...That's probably because she once suffered from illness herself. Because she knows that illness is painful, bitter... and a desperate thing that can easily steal a life, she didn't want to use it as an option to control someone else's fate.
“......Kanade, don't get me wrong.”
“......”
“My dream. ...No, my goal hasn't been shattered yet.”
“......Ak-kun.”
“Just because I missed being first place on one test doesn't mean everything is lost.”
“But Ak-kun, you were acting like you'd die if you didn't get first on the academic test.”
“I'm prepared to die. How could I challenge it without that much resolve?”
That's how serious I am.
“I... never want to taste that feeling of helplessness again. For that, risking my life is easy.”
“......Then as I thought.”
“But, victory depends on luck. It's natural that the worst results can await. So, I won't be discouraged by a single failure.”
“......”
“Even if I fail. Even if I can't do anything... an opportunity will come again.”
“......”
“The one who made me realize that is none other than you, Kanade.”
A few months since entering high school.
That day, when I was able to reunite with Kanade in the classroom...
I will surely never forget everything I saw at that place and time.
“So, rest easy.”
“......Ak-kun.”
“You haven't stolen my dream.”
“......Uu.”
“Rather, you are... my driving force. So, stay as you always are.”
“......Ak-kuuun.”
Kanade was half-crying.
“Besides, I might still be able to take the test.”
I smiled at the sobbing Kanade.
“......Eh?”
“Our school has a special measure for re-testing those who were absent due to illness on the day of the exam.”
“......”
“It will definitely apply to you. As for me... well, my daily conduct is good, so if I beg them, maybe somehow.”
“......I seeeee.”
Kanade collapsed flat on her back onto the bed.
“Thank goodness......”
“Ahahaha. Are you relieved?”
“I am. ...I'm so relieved I don't know what to do with myself.”
“That's good then.”
“......Now that I'm relieved, I'm getting sleepy.”
“Then, go to sleep.”
“Ak-kun. Ak-kun.”
“What?”
“Will you pat my head until I fall asleep?”
Why?
“Will you pat my head?”
“No, why?”
“Will you pat my head?”
“......Fine.”
“Ehehe. Ak-kun's hand is warm......”
...W-well, that's good then.
“Ufufu. Ufufufufu.”
Despite being feverish, Kanade seemed quite energetic.
“Even so, for Ak-kun to prioritize me over the test he wanted so badly he'd die for it.”
“......Well, it's because I knew about the special measures.”
If you ask how I knew about this measure... it was because I searched for some way to extend my study time in case I didn't make it in time for the test. To be honest, this measure is so easy to abuse that it's a wonder it still exists.
I think it should be abolished as soon as possible.
...Well, that aside, I'll be studying a lot once I get home.
“He prioritized me over the test~. He prioritized me over the test~.”
“......Are you listening to me?”
“I'm not listening.”
If she's not listening... I guess it can't be helped?
“Ufufu. Really. Honestly......”
Kanade smiled in high spirits.
“Ak-kun, you love me way too much!”
Look who's talking.