After leaving the high school, we boarded the train at the nearest station and swayed along toward the station where my house was located.
“Wow, the scenery around here is so nostalgic.”
As the train approached the station closest to my home, Kanade looked out the window at the passing scenery with a nostalgic expression.
Watching her profile, memories of the past flickered through my mind.
If I remember correctly, it was back when we had just started elementary school.
Kanade and I were riding the train just the two of us to go to a nearby shopping mall.
『Look, look. Our house is around that area, right?』
Back then, just like now... Kanade was looking at the scenery through the window, appearing very happy.
“You haven't changed since then.”
Perhaps because I was immersed in those memories, the words slipped out of my mouth.
“I don't know which time you're talking about, but I’ve actually changed in quite a few ways, you know?”
“Is that so?”
“Yes. After all, I almost died once.”
Kanade took her eyes off the window and looked at me with a shy smile.
Seeing her smile didn't make my heart feel warm at all.
‘Almost died.’
When someone hits you with such a powerful phrase, there’s no way you can feel warm and fuzzy.
“...Is your illness really okay now?”
“Yeah. Sorry for making you worry.”
“...I see.”
The topic of Kanade's illness ended abruptly with just that one exchange.
Having seen her in that state before, I didn't want the topic to end so quickly, but... digging into it would probably be lacking in delicacy.
“Thank you, Ak-kun.”
Kanade spoke her thanks.
“It’s because you worried so much about me, Ak-kun, that I’m still living like this today, you know?”
“...”
“I mean, look... it's that thing. The one where they say love saves people?”
“If you’re going to say that, it’s ‘Love Saves the Earth.’”
I felt like that catchphrase was used by some charity program that was caught pocketing donations.
“Oh, was that it?”
“Ahaha,” Kanade laughed again.
“But well, it’s a fact that I was saved by love, you know?”
“...That’s not right.”
I looked down.
“Because if love could save human lives... then no one would ever have to leave this world.”
Furthermore, if love saved lives, it would mean that everyone who departed this world was not loved by anyone.
“...That’s impossible. Don't you think?”
“...Ak-kun?”
“I can say for certain. Love cannot save people.”
I raised my head.
“...Love isn't something that saves people. It’s just that love is indispensable for a person to live.”
“Eh?”
“If it isn't someone you love, you wouldn't feel like paying for expensive medical treatments, and in the first place, you wouldn't feel like providing the food, clothing, and shelter needed to survive. So, while love can't save people, people can't live without love.”
“...I see.”
It seemed Kanade was convinced.
“Then, as I thought, I'm alive thanks to you, right?”
...Is she really convinced?
“Ak-kun, do you know why I wanted to live?”
“...Eh?”
“The treatment was painful, I almost died several times, and there were moments when I felt like it was all over and wanted to give up. Even so, do you know the reason I was able to find the strength to keep living over and over?”
“...There’s no way I could know that.”
“That’s true. But it’s very simple.”
...The train announced that it would soon arrive at the station closest to my home.
“The reason I was able to maintain my motivation to live was because I couldn't forget your worried face from that day when you left.”
The train began to slow down.
“If I hadn't wanted to see you again, I probably would have died a long time ago.”
As Kanade spoke about her own life and death as if it were a lighthearted story, no words came to mind in response.
“Look, the train is arriving.”
Outside the window, the platform of our station came into view. We got off the train.
The walking distance from the station to my house is about fifteen minutes. Along the way, we stopped at a convenience store to buy some snacks, so we arrived home about thirty minutes after reaching the station.
“Pardon the intrusion.”
“Yeah.”
“What about your parents?”
“Today both of them are working. I think they said they’d be late coming home.”
“Eh, is that so? That’s tough.”
“Yeah. It seems tough. Honestly, I'm very grateful.”
I really can't thank my parents enough for going out to work, even if they hate it, just to support our lives.
“Since I'm here, I wanted to see them too.”
“Well, that’ll have to be another time.”
“Yeah. I'll do that.”
Kanade nodded.
“Alright. Then let's go to Ak-kun's room.”
Then, cutting through the flow of the conversation, she said that.
“I don't want to.”
“No.”
“Eehh...”
Once she says 'No' to my refusal, I have no way to turn her down when she pushes.
“...I won't let you stay long, okay?”
“Yeah. Of course. I only intended to say hello today anyway.”
Kanade looked happy throughout. Reluctantly, I guided Kanade to my room.
“Whoa...”
As soon as she entered the room, Kanade let out a voice of admiration.
“You keep it so clean.”
“Well...”
“You’ve rearranged it too.”
“Well, it’s been years since you were last in this room, so I’ve rearranged it a few times.”
I wonder what that's about?
“Oh, that’s right. Actually, I brought a present today as a symbol of our reunion.”
Abruptly, as if suddenly remembering, Kanade rummaged through her bag.
“Eh, really? I feel bad for receiving something.”
“It’s fine. Well, if you like, you can give me some kind of thank-you gift next time.”
“Of course.”
Kanade’s face brightened as if she had found the object she was looking for in her bag.
“Here!”
The present Kanade handed me was...
“...A teddy bear?”
I was at a loss for how to react to such a fancy present. For a moment, I wondered if she had gotten the person she was gifting it to wrong... but seeing Kanade’s smiling face, I couldn't bring myself to ask.
“Thank you...”
For now, I accepted the teddy bear. ...Well, maybe there’s a culture in France or somewhere else where people give teddy bears as a sign of reunion, so it's probably best not to mention it too much.
“Think of it as me and display it in your room, okay?”
“Ah, yeah...”
“I think around there would be good.”
Kanade pointed to the top of a five-tier bookshelf in the corner of the room that was taller than me.
“...Aren't teddy bears something you’re supposed to cherish? If I put it in a place like that, I won't really be able to pick it up and cuddle it, right?”
“Now, now, it’s fine, isn't it?”
“...It might get covered in dust, too.”
“Now, now, it’s fine, isn't it?”
...She's not listening to me.
“Alright. I'll display it.”
“Yeah.”
Kanade nodded.
“Of course, make sure to place the teddy bear so its face is pointing forward, okay?”
“Eh, ah... yeah.”
Is that something that needs to be explicitly said?
“Also, please don't change its position as much as possible.”
“Eh...?”
“Because from now on, I'll be coming over sometimes to check if you've moved it.”
...Why?
“If you change its position, I'll know immediately, okay?”
Seriously, why?