5:00 AM the next morning.
In the quiet room where the Cherry Boys were sleeping peacefully, I woke up alone.
A long, long day—one that felt like it had lasted about two weeks—had ended, and a new day began.
I changed into my jersey, put on my sneakers, and went outside to head to the studio building.
A misty sky. The sound of a bird chirping somewhere. I took a breath; it smelled like morning.
"Phew..."
Even though it was midsummer, it felt chilly, and I rubbed the parts of my arms exposed by my short sleeves.
I walked along the connecting corridor, making a 'ssss' sound through my teeth.
The sound I hummed was as inorganic as ever, crumbling away as soon as it left my lips.
"Sigh..."
My humming still has no pitch.
'Practicing until you bleed every day, exhausting your soul, and still being unable to cross that wall... isn't that what we call talent?'
The words Otomo-kun said in the bath yesterday were strangely stuck in my heart.
I might not be able to write a song yet.
There's no guarantee I can do it even if I take my time.
Even so.
"I just have to do more than anyone else, I guess..."
I muttered softly to myself.
I have to put it into words again, give it shape, and face it.
That's exactly why I came to the studio earlier than anyone else.
"Alright."
I hyped myself up once more.
I entered the studio building and opened the door to our band's studio.
At that moment.
"'How good this feels...'"
I heard a clear voice.
"Ichikawa..."
Ichikawa was there, singing.
A new song, with lyrics I had never heard before.
Seeing her there, it felt like all the strength was draining from my body.
"A-Ah, Konuma-kun!?"
I seemed to have entered Ichikawa's field of vision.
"Oh, morning, Ichikawa."
"M-Morning..."
Ichikawa returned the greeting, looking somewhat taken aback.
"I mean, Konuma-kun, didn't you say there was no morning practice!?"
"I said 'band practice'."
I slumped down onto a nearby chair.
"That's just a technicality, jeez..."
Ichikawa puffed out her cheeks like she was sulking.
"...Did you finish the lyrics?"
"No, uh, not yet..."
When I asked, Ichikawa answered fidgeting.
I chuckled a bit at her way of speaking, like a child caught playing a prank.
"You don't have to hide it. You were just singing, weren't you?"
Ichikawa waved her hands in front of her face.
"It's really not like that, I was just singing a temporary draft."
"I see."
"Jeez, you really need to fix that half-hearted response."
"I guess so..."
I know it's a bad habit.
"...Since when have you been practicing, Ichikawa?"
Those words spilled out of my mouth in a tone cooler than I intended.
"Hmm, about 30 minutes ago, I think. Why?"
With a pure expression, Ichikawa tilted her head.
I couldn't help but give a bitter smile.
What was that about 'earlier than anyone else'? What was that about surpassing 'talent'?
I felt like a fool, so I tossed a question at Ichikawa somewhat recklessly.
"...Ichikawa, do you believe in talent?"
"Eh, talent? Why so sudden?"
"Just answer me."
I gently prompted her.
"Hmm... I think there's 'individuality', but I don't think there's much of this thing called 'talent'..."
I let out a dry laugh of exasperation.
"I figured..."
"Hmm? What's wrong?"
I felt like I was being crushed by the overwhelming reality.
Maybe what I was screaming about as 'talent' was actually just 'effort'.
Maybe Ichikawa woke up earlier than someone like me to practice, and it's the accumulation of that which allows her to stand there.
'Talent is an excuse for those who can't put in the effort,' or 'Being able to work hard is what makes a genius.'
I chewed on those words I'd heard a hundred times before.
Lost for words, I could only manage a dry, thin smile.
"Konuma-kun... are you angry...?"
Ichikawa peered into my face with a troubled look.
"Ah, no, it's not that... sorry."
What am I doing, making Ichikawa worry?
"I was talking to Azuma last night."
"With Yuri? Were you talking about your song?"
"Yeah, that."
I nodded.
"It's not just me; Azuma said she can't write lyrics anymore either."
"...Eh, really? ...Why?"
Ichikawa furrowed her brows.
"I don't know if I should tell you this, but,"
I exhaled as if giving up.
"It seems we've been crushed by amane."
Once I said it, the thoughts I'd been holding back dragged themselves out like a broken dam.
"I looked up to amane and started music. Then I met that amane in high school. My lyrics were total garbage, but I practiced my instrument, had Azuma write amazing lyrics, and had amane sing them with so much emotion. But..."
Ichikawa was listening intently.
"But 'Watashi no Uta' moved everyone's hearts many times more than 'Heijitsu' did. I started wondering if there's even any point in us making songs anymore."
As I put it into words again, that fact took on a physical form and stood before me.
"...Did Yuri say that too?"
Ichikawa asked.
"Yeah."
"I see..."
Ichikawa closed her eyes and let out an exaggerated sigh.
"The type of emotion a song gives is different, or what kind of competition is this in the first place, or even what 'Watashi no Uta' is to begin with... I have a lot, really a lot of things I want to say, but I'll pack it all into just one thing."
"Hmm...?"
Ichikawa didn't cheer me on, comfort me, or encourage me.
She simply gave a provocative smile and said this:
"Then, why don't you and Yuri just make a song that surpasses 'Watashi no Uta'?"
"Wh...!?"
I gasped at that bold smile.
"Right?"
Her tone was completely that of a final boss.
"N-No, wait. I'm saying I don't even know if I can make a song at all, and you're saying to make one that surpasses 'Watashi no Uta'..."
"Honestly, that's the only way now, Konuma-kun, if you want to be able to write songs again. Yuri too, surely."
Ichikawa cut off my whining and asserted.
"It doesn't matter how much Sako-san or I say we love 'Heijitsu', and it probably doesn't matter if everyone else says so too. Because,"
She let out a sigh.
"You guys decided on your own that you lost."
While tilting my head, I could do nothing but nod.
Ichikawa continued, tapping her foot rhythmically.
"Also, I'll mention this just in case since you both seem to be overlooking it."
"And what would that be...?"
I asked timidly.
"You two seem to think that if 'Watashi no Uta' didn't exist, 'Heijitsu' wouldn't exist, but on that day, if 'Heijitsu' didn't exist, 'Watashi no Uta' wouldn't have happened, you know?"
"Huh...? That order is completely wrong."
After all, 'Watashi no Uta' was a song that was finished first.
"It's not wrong. This isn't comfort, and it's not an excuse. It's just a fact."
"...What do you mean?"
When I asked,
"I'm calling you an idiot because you can't even understand that anymore!"
She scolded me sharply. I wasn't called an idiot yet though...
"I mean, Ichikawa, are you angry...?"
"Of course I'm angry!"
I wonder why...
"Oh well, since you brought it into a competition, do your best to win!"
Smack! With a crisp sound, Ichikawa slapped my upper arm.
"No, wasn't it you who made it a competition, Ichikawa-san...?"
"No! I'm saying it because you two treated it like a competition first without permission!"
Jeez, I have no idea what she's talking about anymore.
But, for some reason, I felt something about to sprout in my heart. Maybe just a little more.
"Honestly, just when I thought you called me 'Amane' for the first time in a while, it was about amane again..."