On the stage, the Cherry Boys were cleaning up.
Beside them, Ichikawa, Sako, I, and Azuma were standing in a circle.
“Wait, is Yuri-chan performing too?”
I could hear voices like that from a short distance away.
“Azuma, if you stay with us...”
“It’s okay, Konuma. After all, I’m a member of amane too, right?”
“...I see.”
I gave a firm nod in response.
After smiling at that exchange, Ichikawa began to speak in a slightly lowered voice.
“You know, I’ve always regretted debuting that one time.”
“Regretted it?”
I asked back.
“Yeah. I thought that if I hadn't debuted, maybe I could still sing even now, and maybe I could have written a lot more songs.”
“I’m sorry...”
Sako emitted a heavy, gloomy aura.
Ichikawa waved her hands in front of her.
“No, it’s not about you, Sako-san. I think no matter what anyone else said, if I heard anything, I would have broken down immediately.”
And then, she giggled.
“But you know. Today, right now, at this very moment, I can say for sure that I’m glad I debuted.”
“...Why?”
Azuma asked.
“Because, if I hadn't debuted, Konuma-kun wouldn't have composed songs, and Yuri wouldn't have written lyrics. Then, ‘Heijitsu’ wouldn't have been born, right?”
Ichikawa smiled.
“amane-sama...”
“Ichikawa...”
“I’m not even there...”
There was one person moping alone, but I ignored her.
Looking at Sako, Ichikawa smiled mischievously once again.
Then, taking a breath, she held out her right hand.
“That’s exactly why, for the sake of being able to sing once more.”
It seemed she wanted to form a huddle. It was a bit embarrassing...
“For the sake of giving shape to our limited youth.”
“For the sake of atoning for my regrettable past.”
Azuma and Sako said as they stacked their right hands underneath. Those two were really getting into it...
“What about Konuma-kun?”
The three of them looked at me.
“I...”
What am I doing this for?
I have always.
Made excuses about being a loner or being plain, running away from anything that might hurt me, never even reaching out for the things I truly admired.
In that case, at least for this live performance.
“For the sake of reaching out to the things I admire.”
Saying that, I stacked my right hand on top of Ichikawa’s.
“Ah, um, yeah...”
Ichikawa blushed and looked down slightly.
What...?
After clearing her throat, Ichikawa spoke in her usual tone.
“Alright, let’s do this!”
With those words as a signal, we let out a small but energetic “Oh!” shout.
We went up on stage and finished our preparations.
Ichikawa, smiling brightly, and Sako, with a serious face and furrowed brows, looked toward me.
Ichikawa faced the microphone.
“Hello, we are amane.”
“Amane! Using your own name!” “So cute!” “Play some YUI!”
Cheers erupted. Ichikawa’s popularity was incredible...
“Today, I want to perform just one original song made by amane. I won’t be doing YUI, sorry.”
She giggled.
“But, it’s a very important song to us. It’s called ‘Heijitsu’. Please listen.”
Saying that, Ichikawa closed her eyes, exhaled deeply, and then took a slow breath in.
I watched from behind as her shoulders rose and fell.
Eventually, Ichikawa took her stance.
“‘I left the house, chased by the alarm clock.’”
I let out a breath of relief.
Thank goodness, she sang...!
With a smooth start to the vocals, the performance of ‘Heijitsu’ began.
* * *
I left the house, chased by the alarm clock
With my leather shoes just barely slipped on
I dived into the classroom at the same time as the chime
Everyone laughed at my bedhead
The waking up that should be gloomy, the train that should be cramped, the school that should be a chore,
I wonder why
At the secret message running under the desk
I let out an “Eh?” and got scolded
Instead of me, who was called on in the fourth period
My stomach answered and everyone laughed again
The lesson that should be boring, the studying that should be difficult, the school that should be a chore,
I wonder why
On the way home, I watched the trains go by many times
Watching the sun go down at the platform
On the train back, when I remembered today
It’s strange, it hurts a little bit
The way home that should be troublesome, the train that should be cramped, the school that should be a chore,
I wonder why
* * *
I was captivated by Ichikawa’s singing while drumming as gently as possible so as not to overpower the song.
Ichikawa’s acoustic guitar snuggled up to her voice, and Sako’s bass continued to show the path we should take.
Every single lyric and every single melody seemed to permeate my body through my eardrums.
Many scenes floated up, leaving a soft resonance before disappearing.
The classroom at dusk when I first talked to Ichikawa, the convenience store the day I first met Azuma, the notebook where I wrote ‘Daily Life is Good’, the multipurpose room warehouse where we went to see the mixer, the stair landing where I reconciled with Sako, the front of the ice cream shop where I talked with Erina-san and Hazama, the Mac in Kichijoji, the Musashino Line, the Chuo Line, Disk Union, the regular studio, the Rock Club studio, the bench where we sat in seiza in front of Shin-Koganai Station, the group learning room in the library, the stairs where Erina-san cried...
The passing scenery. None of them could be kept as they were; they shine for just a moment and then disappear immediately.
Emotions, sights, and atmospheres I never knew when I was all alone—I know them now.
It all began at the moment I decided to become amane’s ghostwriter that day.
How many times is amane going to change my life?
The performance continued, and the sweet time passed in the blink of an eye.
Before I knew it, we were reaching the Grand Chorus we added at the end.
* * *
Hey, I wonder why?
The more fun and happy things are, the larger the sadness grows
The split-bill ice cream, the scribbles on the desk, the “Good morning” greeting
I started counting how many times were left, then stopped
Hey, I wonder why?
I wonder if I’ll find the answer while these days are still normal
The bench at dusk, the convenience store on the way back, the “See you” greeting
I wonder how many more seconds I can look at that profile
* * *
Erina-san, Hazama, and many people I didn't know were watching the stage entranced.
In the midst of that.
In the front row, Azuma was looking up at Ichikawa with her hands clasped in front of her chest as if praying.
Yes.
From here on is Ichikawa’s original part of the song.
I gripped my drumsticks tighter.
Do your best...!
The sound of Ichikawa taking a deep breath was picked up by the microphone.
“‘Pretending not to notice, I smiled again. My one and only, natural, ordinary everyday life.’”
She sang it all...!
Azuma’s expression brightened instantly.
With a final crash, the three of our sounds came together, and the song ended.
Ichikawa looked back at me and gave a V-sign with a smile.
I also returned a V-sign while wiping away the sweat that had somehow gathered.
You’re amazing, Ichikawa...
Cheers and applause filled the venue.
I was relieved from the bottom of my heart.
When we get off stage, I’ll tell Ichikawa, “You were great.”
I’ll tell Sako, “That was some good bass.”
Let’s share this victory with Azuma, the four of us.
Thinking that, I stood up from my drum throne holding my sticks.
At that moment.
“Huh...?”
A sound caught my eardrums, and seeing the situation unfolding before my eyes, I let out a voice.
The cheers that filled the venue surged into applause, unifying into one.
“““Encore! Encore!”””
Everyone was smiling and begging for one more song.
Even if you say that, we don’t have any more songs...
While feeling happy, I pondered how to settle the situation.
For now, just as I was about to wave my hands broadly to show that we were finished.
I heard the sound of Ichikawa’s guitar.
C.
G.
C.
“Huh...!?”
Hey, this song is...!
“Ichikawa-san...”
“Amane...!?”
Sako and Azuma widened their eyes.
There was no mistaking it.
The song I have listened to the most in my entire life.
amane’s phantom single.
It was ‘Watashi no Uta’.
While the resonance of the C chord remained, Ichikawa faced the microphone.
Before I knew it, I was clenching my fists tight.
Ichikawa took a deep breath.
“‘Hey, is there even one thing that only I can do?’ ”
With a trembling voice, she still.
Ichikawa began to sing the opening.
“Ichikawa...”
I sank back down onto my drum throne. I didn't know if my legs had given out or what was happening.
Anyway, I just sat there, unable to believe what was happening before my eyes.
Because, right there, was the amane I admired.
Tears welled up in my eyes. I felt my vision beginning to blur.
Go for it, go for it...!
“‘Not even one thing’...”
But.
amane’s voice, as she tried to continue singing, became raspy and faded away.
The guitar sound also weakened, and eventually, the performance stopped.
I bit my lip. I tasted iron in my mouth.
Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit...!
The venue began to buzz.
“Wait, is it over?” “I wonder what happened?”
Ichikawa, nonetheless, took her guitar stance again.
C. G. C.
“‘Hey, only I’...”
But, her voice became raspy and disappeared even faster than the previous time.
The words “Don’t push yourself” just wouldn't come out of my throat no matter what.
I just sat on my drum throne, watching that scene.
Ichikawa tried to start the performance again.
C. G. C.
“‘Hey, myself’...”
Again, her voice became raspy and faded away.
Azuma had an expression that looked truly painful, yet even Azuma didn't stop her.
I’m such a lowlife.
Even at a time like this.
I desperately wanted to hear amane sing amane’s ‘Watashi no Uta’.
Ichikawa’s fourth performance.
C. G. C.
“‘Hey, myself’...”
Again, her voice was about to become raspy and fade away.
At that moment.
“Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!”
An incredibly loud voice was heard from somewhere very close.
Almost simultaneously, the cymbals let out a piercing scream.
It was my voice, and the cymbals I had struck.
Anyway, I was stomping on the bass drum like crazy. I was hitting the cymbals like crazy.
“Amane!!”
Without knowing why, I was shouting Ichikawa’s name.
“Amane!!”
My eyes met Ichikawa’s as she looked back with her shoulders jumping in surprise.
There might have been voices of confusion from the audience, but I couldn't hear them.
Sing, amane.
Sing that song for me one more time.
Please, I’m begging you.
I stared at Ichikawa while playing the drums frantically.
‘Konuma-kun...?’
That was how Ichikawa’s mouth moved.
Then, the C note of the bass resonated deeply from my right.
It was Sako’s sound.
Looking at Sako, she was biting her lip and plucking the strings over and over again so hard it looked like her fingers might tear off.
‘Sako-san...!’
As the gazes of the three of us intersected.
Ichikawa gave a soft nod.
Ichikawa turned forward, and then, she took another deep breath.
“‘Hey, I wonder if there’s even one thing that only I can do?’ ”
“Amane...!!”
Ichikawa finished singing the solo opening part.
I made eye contact with Sako.
From there, I began to play the drums with full power, not frantically anymore, but keeping a solid rhythm.
Matching that, Sako began to play the bass.
That’s right.
Rock On has crappy acoustics.
Before going on stage, I said I would adjust the drums so the vocals could be heard.
So, I just had to do the opposite.
If I played the drums at full power, and the bass matched it...!
Ichikawa might be able to sing without being afraid anymore.
It’s okay, Amane.
Because we’re with you.
So, please sing.
Ichikawa began to sing the rest along with the band.
It’s a song I’ve heard hundreds of times.
The lyrics could easily be replayed in my brain.
* * *
Hey, I wonder if there’s even one thing that only I can do?
In the corner of the classroom, I’m just a well-behaved girl
Hey, I wonder if there’s even one irreplaceable existence?
I might go my whole life without knowing my fated person in a distant city
I have nothing, so I have no confidence
Because I have no confidence, I have no courage
I can't even say things like “Stay by my side”
While walking to avoid pain and wounds
Before I knew it, I was distancing myself from important things
That’s probably because being near important things
Is what hurts the most
It’s full of painful things, it’s full of hurting things
It makes me want to throw away today
But maybe, just maybe
In a crowd of six billion people, I’m just a single grain
To someone who can say “I’m glad you’re here”
To me, who can't become anyone
Maybe I’ll meet them someday
Hey, I wonder if there’s even one thing that only I can do?
I’ll answer: I don’t care about that anymore
If, because I was here,
Because I breathed, because I smiled, because I cried, because I sang,
Something was born
I don’t care how small it is
I’ll hold it up like a pride, like a medal
And live with a stupidly big smile on my face
* * *
Enveloped by my full-power drums and Sako’s bass, amane sang earnestly.
At times, she faltered, but even so, the music steadily moved forward.
Finally, there was one last phrase of lyrics.
If it followed the original song, the band would stop, and it would be a part where the vocals sang completely alone.
Can she do it? Or should I keep playing?
The moment I hesitated.
Ichikawa held her right hand holding the pick high up.
I smiled.
You’re just too cool...!
Sako and I stopped our sound.
Silence ran through the venue.
Only the sound of amane’s breath echoed for a moment throughout the venue—no, throughout the world.
“‘This is my song.’ ”
Just like that, amane finished singing the final phrase.
Oh no.
They’re coming out.
I hurriedly looked down while sounding the cymbal and bass drum simultaneously.
At the same time as that sound, the bass and acoustic guitar rang out.
It was the final “Crash!” of the song.
I didn't care anymore. It was the best.
I drummed frantically.
“Thank you, really, thank you!”
Ichikawa was shouting through the microphone with a tearful voice.
I looked up through my blurred vision.
The very last hit.
So I could hit it perfectly even if my vision was blurred.
Swinging both arms wide, I struck the very, very last hit.
Cheers erupted. Applause broke out.
Among them, I could hear one voice that sounded almost like a sob, saying, “Amane, that was so goooood!”
Having safely finished Rock On, we finished cleaning up.
When I left the multipurpose room after cleaning up, Erina-san, who had probably been waiting for the Cherry Boys (the name still looks incredible written down), came trotting up and grabbed the hem of my shirt.
“Takuto-kun, you were cool today... I might, actually get serious...”
She said bashfully, and then entered the multipurpose room where Hazama and the others were without waiting for an answer.
What? Serious...?
While I was tilting my head, I was slapped on the shoulder.
“Ah, Konuma, you bad guy.”
It was Azuma.
“Huh?”
“Well, never mind about Erina. Anyway, good job.”
Saying that, she gave me a canned Calpis she had probably bought from the shop.
“Why Calpis...?”
“Because it tastes like youth.”
Well, that’s quite the, how should I put it, Yuri-poem.
“Both of us, we were just followers of amane-sama, fakes, and we thought we were uncool.”
“Oh...?”
“‘Heijitsu’ is definitely a song that wouldn't have been born if Konuma and I weren't there.”
Azuma smiled.
“I’m glad I had a connection with Konuma!”
Saying that, she left.
“See you later! Let’s go home together! I’ll wait at the entrance!”
I smiled softly so those around me wouldn't notice, and while drinking the Calpis I had popped open, I headed toward the Class 6 classroom.
A blonde girl, who had once gone to the studio to put away her instrument, was leaning against the hallway wall.
“Sako, good job.”
“...Good job.”
“You remembered ‘Watashi no Uta’ well.”
Sako said sulkily.
“Because I listened to it over and over. ...Because I wanted to know what Takuto likes.”
“I-I see.”
Should I say something?
“Um...”
As I tried to add more words on impulse.
“What Takuto likes, I like too.”
Sako cut me off.
“Well, Yurisuke is calling me, so see you later.”
Saying that, Sako headed toward the entrance.
What was that about...?
Tilting my head, I entered the Class 6 classroom.
The classroom was filled with dusk-colored air.
There was a figure sitting on my desk by the window, holding an acoustic guitar and staring blankly into space.
Ichikawa Amane.
Beautiful appearance, excellent grades.
Her straight black semi-long hair suited her image.
She was friendly but never acted sycophantic, and her dignified presence made her popular with not only boys but girls as well.
On top of that, she was good at singing and could play the guitar.
And she could sing the songs she made, with the lyrics she wrote, herself.
She was a picture-perfect beautiful girl.
Noticing the sound of me opening the door, Ichikawa looked back.
“Oh, Konuma-kun.”
“...Why are you holding your guitar again?”
“Well, I was just so happy I could sing...”
Ichikawa giggled.
She got off the desk and approached me.
“Konuma-kun, thank you so much.”
“It was nothing. It was your own effort, Ichikawa.”
Embarrassed, I couldn't help but look out the window.
“Hey, next is Konuma-kun’s turn.”
“Hmm?”
“Let’s make it so you can say that you were the one who made Konuma-kun’s songs.”
“I’m fine with things as they are.”
Ichikawa took both my hands as I said that and gripped them tightly in front of her chest.
“Please, I’m begging you. Because,”
Just like before she starts singing, Ichikawa took a deep breath.
“Konuma-kun is my... inspiration.”