After homeroom ended, Erina-san came over to my seat.
“Takuto-kun, hey...”
Is she going to ask to walk home together after club? I have a prior engagement today, so I’ll have to turn her down... though honestly, I’ve never actually said yes even once.
“Sorry, today is—”
Just as I started to say that,
“Are you fighting with Sako-sshu?”
She asked.
“Ah, well...”
That was close! I was about to do the ultimate self-conscious move of rejecting an invitation that wasn't even given!
“...What were you saying sorry for?”
“Uh, no, it’s nothing.”
As I answered in a panic,
“Hmm?”
Erina-san tilted her head, slightly opening her pouty lips.
“Well, that’s fine then. See ya, Takuto-kun.”
“O-Oh.”
Leaving me behind as I gave a small wave near my chest, Erina-san headed off to her club activities.
Phew... Just as I was wiping the sweat from my forehead, Ichikawa approached me with a somewhat awkward gait.
“Um, well then, shall we go?”
“O-Oh...”
Ichikawa gave a silly grin.
“Homeroom was long again today.”
“Yeah...”
I walked side-by-side with Ichikawa on the way back toward Shin-Koganai.
Thinking about the fact that we’re walking home together because of a promise makes me feel a bit nervous, but more than that, I was slightly overcome by sleepiness.
So sleepy.
“Today, Erina-chan went to her club much faster than usual, didn't she?”
“Yeah...”
She had just asked me about the fight with Sako.
That’s right, I’m in a fight with Sako-sshu.
Remembering it makes me feel gloomy... A sigh escaped me. It’s beyond boring; I feel like I just want to disappear...
I’ll have to apologize somewhere, but what I need to figure out right now is the band...
If I don't find some kind of answer by tomorrow's practice, we'll be heading into the exam break.
In short, even with Ichikawa’s singing, we haven’t caught up to amane’s music.
Is it the songwriting sense after all...?
“Konuma-kun, are you okay?”
“Eh, about what?”
I got flustered, realizing she’d caught my thoughts running wild.
“Didn't you sleep? Are you worried about something?”
“Ah, no, well.”
“Well?”
Due to lack of sleep, my thoughts couldn't keep up.
I didn't even have the energy to choose my words carefully. For now, I'll just tell her honestly what I'm thinking.
“I was thinking I want to get closer to amane...”
“Hoe!?”
Ichikawa’s eyes went wide, and her cheeks turned red. Deep red.
“...What happened?”
“E-Eh, it’s not ‘what happened’... eh?”
She was fanning her face with her hands.
What? What is it, Ichikawa-san?
“What do you think, Ichikawa?”
“M-Me?”
Her shoulders jumped as she pointed at herself.
“I-I... well... me, too...? Uh, well, but that should be in stages, or rather...”
She was fidgeting, hesitating to say something.
Well, I suppose it’s hard for her to talk about what’s lacking compared to her own music.
I decided to throw her a lifeline.
“Is it the chords, the rhythm, or the lyrics? If it's something else, that's fine too. I want to hear your frank opinion.”
Then, Ichikawa looked blankly at me.
“...Eh?”
She tilted her head.
“Wait, what? What’s wrong?”
“Hm? Chords, rhythm...? Eh, the band...? But, you said you wanted to get closer to Amane... Huh?”
“Pardon?”
A strange atmosphere flowed between the two of us.
Um, what...? I thought about it and then it hit me.
““............!!””
Ah, so that’s what it was!?
As we both realized each other’s intentions and the misunderstanding, both our faces simultaneously flushed bright red.
“A-Ah, s-sorry...”
“No, it’s my fault, right, of course it is...”
Wait, didn't she almost say ‘Me, too...’ just now!?
Waking up all at once, I cleared my throat with a ‘kohm’ and tried to reset the situation.
“Um, in the end, I thought maybe I’m just a fake.”
“A fake?”
Ichikawa, with the crimson still lingering on her cheeks, tilted her head.
“amane... uh, like a fake who’s just chasing after amane the musician.”
Ichikawa furrowed her brow and thought about it, trying to understand. I continued.
“Should I use more stylish chords in the progression, or should I slightly shift the drum patterns, or should I include words that evoke the seasons in the lyrics...? I’ve thought about and practiced various things, but I don't understand at all...”
What is missing from our songs? What is necessary? Is it something that changes with repeated practice? Is it an innate sense? In the end, is it out of reach for someone mediocre like me?
I began to sink into the swamp of my thoughts again.
“Konuma-kun,”
As if reaching out to pull me from that swamp, Ichikawa called out to me.
I waited for her next words.
“You’re thinking too much.”
“...Eh?”
I was taken aback.
Leaving me stunned, Ichikawa continued.
“Konuma-kun, what do you want to turn into music?”
“What do I, turn into music...?”
When I frowned, Ichikawa gave a gentle nod.
“I think music isn't the goal.”
Not the goal?
“You don't do music just to do music. I think you do music to share formless things like what you want to convey or overflowing emotions with someone else.”
Her profile as she spoke was incredibly serious.
“The things you want to convey or your emotions come first. Then you use sound and lyrics to deliver them to someone. Music is a means to deliver emotions. The melody, the chords, the rhythm, and the lyrics are nothing more than the results of expressing those emotions.”
I was simply overwhelmed by her presence.
Ichikawa Amane, who until a moment ago was just a classmate and band member, had unmistakably become amane right now.
The genius singer-songwriter I had admired so much.
“Hey, Konuma-kun.”
“Yes...”
I accidentally slipped into polite speech.
“Do you want to do music? Or do you want to do something with music?”
“That is...”
As I hesitated, amane gave me a small smile and said,
“I don't want to just do music; I want to deliver my words to someone through music.”
She took a deep breath.
“Right now, I can't sing my own words, but I have so many things I want to convey.”
She said that with a lonely smile.
“It doesn't matter if it's amane or if it's a fake or anything like that.”
And then, she questioned me once more.
“Konuma-kun, what do you want to turn into music?”