“It’s not like I mind if you and Yuri-san walk home together without me, okay?”
“Yes...”
“Besides, I’m not your girlfriend or anything, right?”
“Yes...”
Wait, did she just say ‘die’...?
“I mean, you aren't my boyfriend or anything, right?”
Ah, she said it. She definitely said ‘die’...!
Well, I’m sure Ichikawa-san wasn't saying that on purpose, but...
“But still, couldn't you have at least said something like, ‘I’m going home first today’?”
“Yes, you’re right...”
I broke into a strange sweat, feeling both pathetic and embarrassed.
I was currently being scolded while sitting in seiza on a park bench, just a little past Shin-Koganai Station, the closest station to our high school.
Sitting in seiza on a bench? Does that even happen? Isn't this the kind of thing you get scolded for because it’s bad manners?
And when I tried to sit in seiza with my shoes on, she said, “No, no, you have to take your shoes off, Konuma-kun,” so I took them off.
Wait, so it’s not bad manners? I don’t even know anymore.
Ugh, my legs are falling asleep. I feel like it’s getting a bit dark around here too...
The face of Azuma-san, who had left saying, “I have work, so I have to go. Sorry, Amane...” with her hands pressed together before disappearing into the store, flickered in my mind.
Knowing her, she’s probably working hard at her part-time job while still feeling bad about this. Poor thing...
“Konuma-kun, are you listening?”
“Ah, yes.”
“What do you mean ‘Ah’? ‘Ah’?”
“Ah, sorry.”
“Honestly...”
Ichikawa-san, who was sitting in front of me, let out an exasperated sigh.
That’s right.
The most embarrassing thing is that Ichikawa-san is also sitting in seiza on the bench with her shoes off.
Two people with their shoes off, facing each other in seiza on a bench. Oh, this is awful... I’m almost in tears.
While listening to aiko singing in my head, I wondered why I was being scolded so much.
Like Ichikawa-san said earlier, she and I aren't exactly, u-uh, dating, and in my memory, we never made a promise to go home together.
Of course, there was no way Ichikawa-san would actually want to go home with me.
Hmm...? As I tilted my head inwardly,
“Sigh... why am I so angry?” Ichikawa-san muttered softly.
Wait, even you don’t know, Ichikawa-san...?
“Once I finished scolding you, I kind of stopped understanding it myself.”
I guess that happens...
But if there was a possibility...
“Did you... have something you wanted to talk about regarding the band?” I asked timidly.
In response, Ichikawa-san opened her mouth just a tiny bit, placed her index finger on her cheek, and tilted her head slightly.
It was the Ichikawa-style thinking pose.
“Well, let’s see...”
“Yeah...?”
“Hmmmm...”
She let out a sigh through her nose, and after a moment,
“I guess not...” she muttered as if complaining to herself.
“I-I see.”
When I said that,
“I’m a bit strange, aren't I?”
She took a deep breath, broke her seiza, lowered her legs, and sat back normally on the bench.
Her shoes were dangling from her toes.
“You can stop sitting in seiza now too, Konuma-kun.”
Since I was given permission, I lowered my legs as well.
Phew, now it looks like a normal scene of a high school boy and girl sitting side-by-side on a bench...
Wait, isn't that already an abnormal scene for me...?
“You know,” Ichikawa-san began to speak softly.
“Recently, we’ve been going home together almost every day, right?”
“Ah, well...”
“So, I think I just assumed on my own that I’d be going home with you today too, probably.”
“I see...”
Ichikawa-san continued while quietly swinging her legs.
“That’s why, when I grabbed my bag, put on my acoustic guitar, and looked over to see your seat was empty, I was surprised... or rather, I don’t know if I was sad or lonely, but I just felt that way.”
I quietly lowered my eyes.
“How should I put it? It’s like how you don’t declare, ‘Okay, we’re friends starting now’ when you become friends. Because things had been flowing that way, I think I started to feel like it was a natural promise.”
Ah, so friends really are something you become before you realize it... Looking at everyone’s behavior lately, I thought that might be the case.
That’s why she got angry whenever I called us ‘acquaintances.’ I understand now.
Ichikawa-san placed both palms on the bench and looked up at the sky.
“But that’s too vague. Feelings that weren't put into words, feelings that weren't given a voice...”
She gave a self-deprecating laugh, and then,
“That’s basically the same as them not existing at all.”
She said it decisively.
“Ichikawa-san...”
I felt a lump in my throat.
Feelings that weren't put into words, feelings that weren't given a voice.
I wondered how many feelings Ichikawa-san had that she couldn't put into words, that she couldn't give a voice to.
“Konuma-kun,” she said, looking down at her toes.
“If I had gone home with someone else, you probably wouldn't have been angry, right?”
When she said that, I felt a sharp prick of pain somewhere in my chest.
“That’s...”
“I must really enjoy our walks home together.”
Cutting off my timid attempt to deny it, Ichikawa-san continued.
Those words gave me a massive shock.
“Well, it’s not like we’ve done it that many times yet,” Ichikawa-san said, laughing as if it were funny.
“I... I also...”
Why is it that even after being told all that, I can't find my voice?
Why can't I put it into words?
“Alright. I’m going to make sure to put things like this into words from now on.”
Muttering that, Ichikawa-san stood up with a spring in her step.
She turned toward me as I looked up at her and said,
“Konuma-kun, let’s go home together tomorrow, okay?”
My answer to that was already decided.
It was obvious.
“...Well, tomorrow is band practice, so.”
After all, Sako’s dance club is off tomorrow...
Ichikawa-san blinked in surprise for a moment, then burst out laughing.
“That’s right, ahaha!”
She laughed for quite a while.