“1, 2, 3, 4, 1”
* * *
A tally mark of five
It was like grasping at the sky
I wrote it without knowing why
That symbol was just a “Five”
When I press it
The fire that lighter lit
Trying to defrost it
I realized I didn’t even have the right
No matter how much I apologized
The future was pure white
I won’t listen to the DEMO anymore
I won’t listen unless it’s a band
Because I read the “Omamori”
I’ve gained such strong feelings
I’ve been dreaming all this time
I never woke up until today
I wonder if we can play together someday
That’s precisely why
Last!
Because I’ve already decided
Let’s go meet our future selves ahead
Even if it’s a path so painful it feels like dying
There’s no other meaning to living anyway
Last!
Surely even further than tomorrow
Let’s rewrite “me and you” beyond that
Even if it denies the present
The voice you gave me—it’s meaningless if it doesn’t come out
Even if none of the dreams we saw together come true
Let’s dream the next one
It’s no big deal
Because that sound we made for the first time
Continues to linger in these ears
The “Truth” is hard to see
The “Truth” always hurts
You don’t have to be kind
So let’s let go of everything
Every last bit, everything
Last!
Because I’ve already decided
Let’s go meet our future selves ahead
Even if it’s a path so painful it feels like dying
There’s no other meaning to living anyway
Last!
Surely even further than tomorrow
Let’s rewrite “me and you” beyond that
Even if it denies the present
The voice you gave me—it’s meaningless if it doesn’t come out
Hey, can you hear it? The final words
Never look back
Don’t hesitate anymore about whether it’s okay to go
See, with this, the future has become a blank space
Fill that gaping hole
With that voice
Even if we drift apart and lack pieces, we head toward the dream
Let’s tie the story together properly now, just once
It’s a cliché for that purpose
One, two—
“The End!”
* * *
“Yeah, I think that’s pretty good!”
After the performance ended, Ichikawa turned around and called out brightly.
It was the end of December. Today, the final day of the three-day weekend that started on Saturday, was naturally a holiday and the school was closed, so we were practicing at Studio Octa in Kichijoji.
“How was it? Konuma-kun, Sako-san, Yuri.”
“Yeah. I think you’re performing like you’re having fun,” I answered first.
“Until recently, you had an air of tragedy about you, Ichikawa-san. You have to sing this song brightly. Right, Yurisuke?” Sako added.
“Hmm, yeah,” Azuma smiled.
“Right!”
Ichikawa, smiling happily, muttered as if to confirm it for herself while looking at the fist she clenched in front of her chest. “If we can do it like this tomorrow... yeah. I don't think I'll have any regrets.”
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow was the closing ceremony.
Since we were entering a three-day weekend anyway, it felt like they should have held the ceremony last Friday, but apparently, that would have been too early. Come to think of it, ever since elementary school, the end-of-year schedule in this country has always been like this.
Moreover, what made it even more complicated this year was that since Sunday was the Emperor's Birthday, today, the following day, had become a substitute holiday. Wait, I wonder what will happen from next year? Will a holiday called ‘Heisei Day’ be born? Eh, will the number of holidays just keep increasing?
Well, more importantly, we’re talking about tomorrow.
We weren’t practicing for the closing ceremony.
Tomorrow, after the closing ceremony, there was the Rock Club’s regular live, the December Lock-on.
And because the multi-purpose room we usually used was undergoing renovations, it was decided that it would be held at a live house.
The previous Lock-on was the school festival one about three months ago in September, but man, too many things have happened. It feels like ancient history.
“Still, it’s a really good song to play for the future, truly fitting for the end. It’s not about being on bad terms or having creative differences... it’s filled with the feeling of disbanding properly for the sake of the future and dreams... Truly, thank you, Yuri.”
And so—
—That Lock-on would be amane’s disbandment live.
“No, it sounds that way because Amane sings it with those thoughts,” Azuma shook her head with a modest smile.
“—Are you really okay with disbanding tomorrow?”
I asked in a tone as if I were just confirming the load-in time for the live house, trying to avoid sounding too serious or lingering on regrets.
‘I love my own songs.’
It had been about two weeks since Ichikawa made that phone call to me.
I had thought those words might become the reason or catalyst for continuing the band amane, but...
“Yeah, I’ve come to love my own songs, but whether I can fulfill your dreams is a different story,” that was the answer Ichikawa had given.
She was approaching practice very positively, fired up with the mindset of: ‘Anyway, I’ll give my all for the band amane until the live. So that I don’t leave a single regret. I’ll do the solo stuff after that.’
Because she said it so frankly and brightly, it almost felt like the best choice.
“But I haven’t given up on anything. I’m not pessimistic either. 2020... is too soon, so maybe the next milestone like 2025?” Ichikawa laughed while talking about such a distant future. “—Anyway, if we all think we can do it again, then I want to play music with this band once more. I’ll definitely go and meet that moment.”
“...I see.”
“So... until then, let’s definitely keep doing music.”
As she whispered that, the lights signaling the end of our studio time flickered, urging us to leave.
“Well then, see you tomorrow!”
“I have somewhere to stop by.”
As we got off the elevator from Octa, Ichikawa waved with a smile, and Sako, with her bass on her back, headed in a different direction from the station.
“Just the two of us now, Konuma.”
“I guess so...”
As things turned out, Azuma and I headed toward Kichijoji Station together.
“The Park Exit hasn’t changed at all. It’s oozing that Kichijoji feel.”
“Well, it is Kichijoji. ...What do you mean by that?”
“Oh, a call from Planetary System.”
Just as I was about to ask my question, a call came in for Azuma, who was acting as the coordinator with the live house for the December Lock-on.
“Yes, hello... Ah, is that right!? I’m sorry, I’ll be right there!” Azuma bowed to the manager she couldn't see on the other end of the phone.
“What happened?” I asked after she hung up.
“I forgot that I had to submit the stage plots for all the bands.”
“Forgot? That’s rare for you, Azuma.”
“No, well, I have them with me since I was planning to drop them off before practice anyway, so it’s fine.”
You’re as reliable as ever, Sis.
“So, I’m going to stop by the live house before heading home.”
“Right. Good work, and thanks,” I replied.
Then she said, “You can come along if you really want to, though?”
“I didn’t say a word about that...”
“...” Azuma-san looked up at me with a steady gaze.
“...Fine, I’ll go.”
“Really? Well, I guess I have no choice. It’s special, just for this once. Don’t get the wrong idea, okay? It’s not like I forgot on purpose because I wanted to go with you or anything.”
“I didn’t think that at all...”
I didn’t think it, but hearing that makes me wonder if that was the case...
“But man, tomorrow is really the last one.”
As we passed through the station and came out near the Central Exit on the opposite side, Azuma let out a white breath into the night sky.
“...You’re surprisingly composed, Azuma. Unlike me, who keeps asking stuff like ‘Are we really disbanding?’”
“Ahaha, that’s so uncool.”
“Yeah...” Truly.
“Since I don’t stand on stage, all I can do is cast a spell.”
“A spell...?”
“More like a Spell Card, or rather, a Trap Card.”
“Wait, are we suddenly talking about Yu-Gi-Oh?”
“Yeah, we’re suddenly talking about Yu-Gi-Oh.”
We were talking about Yu-Gi-Oh...
“I wonder if I can activate it. I wonder if I can flip it face-up.”
...Wait, a spell? It felt like that was similar to the word ‘Omamori’.
“Azuma, by any chance, again...”
“It’s okay. It’s not like that this time. It’s not self-sacrifice. It’s not my resolve that’s needed.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about... Is this a poem?”
“Everything I say is a poem,” after saying something that really did sound like a poem, Azuma sighed. “It’s fine if you notice, though. In that regard, Takuto-kun is as much Takuto-kun as ever.”
“That sounds like something Erina-san would say.”
“Hey. Isn’t it tactless to bring up another girl’s name when you’re walking with a girl?”
“Why? We’re just heading to the live house.”
Actually, ever since that time, I haven’t been able to handle Azuma’s banter very well...
“You’re talking like you could handle it well before that.”
“I didn’t say anything.” Don’t read my mind.
“Besides, looking at this city, can you really say ‘we’re just going to the live house’?”
“What about the city... oh, I see.”
I looked around again and realized.
“...Wait, today is Christmas Eve.”
“Exactly. If you’re walking with a girl on Christmas Eve, you can’t really talk your way out of it, can you?”
“Talk my way out of it...?”
“A girl who confessed to you invites you to walk through Kichijoji together on Christmas Eve, and you accept. ...You’re quite a tease, Konuma. Right?”
Azuma leaned in toward me, teasing with a mischievous look on her face.
“...Alright, I’m going home.”
“Ah—wait, wait, I’m sorry! It was a joke!!” My arm was pulled back by both of her hands as I tried to walk away. What is this rare sight?
“No, even if you say it’s a joke...”
“It might be the last time, right?” The eyes that looked up at me were straighter than I expected, staring at me with a serious expression. “That’s why I want to tell you everything.”