"...So, what is the reason for this sudden change of heart?"
In a high-rise office building towering almost directly above Akasaka Station.
At the Buddy Music employee cafeteria, my former manager, Ariga Sayo-san, stood with her arms crossed, looking at me with an exasperated expression.
"You say you want to aim for a solo debut again?"
...Calling it an exasperated expression might be an understatement; a scowl might be more accurate.
"I wonder which mouth of yours is spewing such things?"
No, it is an angry face. She is definitely angry. Well, that makes sense...
"Um... did you see the results? The Seishun Rebellion listener voting?"
"Yes, of course. It is a contest hosted by our company. ...Now, you're not going to tell me it's because you failed that, right?"
"About ten percent of the reason is that."
"Haa..."
As Ariga-san massaged the bridge of her nose, trying to suppress her emotions, I continued.
"The other ninety percent is because I realized there is someone who can deliver their songs... amane's music... to more people than my own voice can."
"Are you trying to say that's IRIA-san?"
"...So you saw the cover video too."
"Yes, of course. It was a wonderful cover. IRIA, who usually only does intense songs, sang a ballad—a new frontier! Having an amateur do that much to us makes the major labels look completely incompetent. But isn't that just because she is a famous singer right now? In the first place, your dream was—"
"I want numbers."
I felt like I knew what Ariga-san wanted to say.
It was something I had questioned myself about many times.
What happened to the big talk I gave Ariga-san on the day of the school festival and the day of the live—that I would only consider a debut with the band amane?
She was saying that if I could just say 'never mind' after failing once, I shouldn't have said it in the first place.
That was exactly why I interrupted her and rushed to the conclusion.
"...Numbers?"
Parroting my words, Ariga-san furrowed her brows.
"Yes, numbers."
"You mean play counts and things like that?"
"Play counts and things like that."
"Why would you..."
"—Can you say for certain that it is a foolish thing?"
I cheekily threw the question I had asked myself hundreds of times at Ariga-san.
"Can you say for certain that it isn't essential?"
I thought about how much I would be saved if Ariga-san denied it and managed to convince me otherwise.
"I can't say that for certain."
But, as expected, Ariga-san did not give me the answer I hoped for. Instead, she let out a self-deprecating chuckle and curled the corner of her lip up.
"Without numbers, I... we can't even be sincere toward the things we create. Without numbers, a masterpiece cannot remain a masterpiece, and we aren't even given a stage to stand on next. I—"
I remember the feeling of my body turning cold when I saw the rejection screen.
"I was terrified of the moment I turned their masterpieces into mediocre songs."
"What a troublesome personality..."
"Pardon?"
"In other words, Amane-san, you believe that unless you become a singer who possesses numbers yourself, you aren't worthy of being the vocalist for the band amane?"
Hmm, did I mishear her?
"Yes, that's right."
Deciding to go with that, I nodded.
"Konuma-kun wants to change someone's life with his songs. His music has that power. Yuri wants to flip the world upside down with her lyrics. Her lyrics have that power. This time, the two of them proved it—through IRIA-san's voice."
"Hmph. And what about Hasu-san?"
"The cornerstone of that band is Sako-san."
"Is that so?"
"Yes. Without her, the band would surely fall apart."
"Ho...? Is that because she acts as the mediator? She looks more like a wrecker to me."
Ariga-san leaned forward with interest. ...She's saying some rather rude things, isn't she? Is she still angry?
"There is the mediation part... but Sako-san is the only one in that band who has the 'listener's ear'. Sako-san is the only one who can give an objective evaluation of the music. She seems to feel a complex about it herself, though..."
"I see. Amane-san, do you not have a listener's ear? There are songs you didn't write, aren't there?"
"I'm no good at it."
I inadvertently let out a pathetic smile with lowered eyebrows.
"When I hear the songs those two create, no matter what kind of song it is, I feel unbearably proud, and—"
I bit my lower lip, trying to maintain my smile.
"—It makes me feel unbearably frustrated."
"...I see."
That voice felt like it was smiling somehow, so I—
"...What is it?"
I ended up questioning her. My voice came out sounding childishly sulky and uncool.
"No, I just thought that Amane-san had those kinds of emotions too."
"...I never thought I had them either."
Emotions I hadn't known until I met them.
It surely wasn't just wonderful emotions. I had acquired plenty of negative emotions too. Even though the maximum capacity of my heart hadn't changed.
"IRIA-san was just the catalyst. I've actually been thinking about it for a long time. Feeling hazy, wondering if it's okay to stay like this."
"Why?"
"I felt like I was standing there by cheating."
"What do you mean...?"
"Thanks to 'Watashi no Uta', Konuma-kun, Sako-san, and Yuri all held special feelings for me. That's why, ever since I met everyone, while they were all suffering, worrying, and fighting, I was the only one in a high tower like a princess waiting to be rescued."
"A princess..."
I thought to myself that I had come up with quite the fairy-tale metaphor. It might be Yuri's influence.
"But this time, it's my turn to fight. It's my turn to chase them. No, the truth is, I should have been fighting all along. Those—"
Using this word might be rude to them, but even so, I call them this with a mix of praise for their efforts and jealousy.
"—I won't be able to catch up to those geniuses unless I work myself to death."
"...I see."
After taking a moment to digest my words, Ariga-san continued with a "But, you know.".
"If you're saying 'Watashi no Uta' made that happen, isn't that the result of something you originally created? It wasn't cheating."
"...I wonder."
I am always, always thinking, "If I had met everyone for the first time today, would they still have let me into the band?"
"Well, if you can't believe it, I suppose that's that."
"Besides, 'Watashi no Uta' is no longer my song. I am no longer amane."
"Are you talking about changing your stage name for your re-debut?"
"No, stage name or whatever aside, I didn't come here today to ask you to arrange a debut for me, Ariga-san."
"Eh, you didn't?"
Seeing Ariga-san's voice go up in pitch from being taken aback, I couldn't help but chuckle.
"No, that's not it. It's just that I couldn't aim for a solo debut without saying anything to you, Ariga-san."
"I'm happy you feel that way, but I totally thought..."
"Besides, Ariga-san, you don't need me as a soloist, right?"
When I interrupted her, Ariga-san let out a breath like a smile and shrugged her shoulders.
"...Yeah, you're right. Just like I said the other day. People as cute and as good at singing as you are actually quite common."
For some reason, those words from Ariga-san made me happy.
"I thought so. So, I don't know how I'll do it yet, but I'm going to try starting from scratch on my own—"
"I heard the story!"
Looking toward the source of the voice,
"Tsukiko-san..."
Daikoku Tsukiko-san was looking at me with a fearless smile.
"Why don't you let me produce those indie activities of yours!"
"Does that mean..."
...Will this count as indie activities?