“...You wrote those lyrics, didn't you, Yuri?”
I flinched slightly at Erina's question.
Wanting a moment to compose myself, I quietly put the can to my lips and swallowed a mouthful of Calpis.
“...Yeah, I did.”
I still get jumpy.
My heart still pounds.
Is this what they call a defense mechanism?
I know Erina, who encouraged me during the school festival, isn't the kind of person to say anything bad about me being a ‘poet.’
Even so, talking about lyrics outside of the band is still a bit of a delicate subject.
Just then, Erina's left hand wrapped over my right hand, which was gripping the Calpis can tightly (it seemed I had tensed up without realizing it).
“Erina was really moved by those lyrics, so I was thinking I’d like to read them one more time... Could you let me read them?”
As she said that, Erina gently held out her other palm. She probably meant for me to place my smartphone there if it was okay.
“T-That's fine, but... A-Are you going to read them right in front of me?”
Stuttering like crazy, it felt like I had rewound back to my middle school self.
“Yeah, is that not okay?”
She gave me that pampered, upturned gaze again.
“A-Are you serious...”
I knew Erina didn't have any ulterior motives... No, that's not it. I knew she had ‘no intention of hurting me,’ but having someone who isn't even a band member read my lyrics right in front of me was still scary...
I let out a long breath.
“...Fine, alright.”
But.
Eventually, we are going to be the strongest band.
When that happens, the lyrics will surely be read by an unspecified number of people. In fact, that's how it has to be.
If that's the case, I have to get used to it a little bit.
Yeah. I have to move forward.
While repeatedly persuading myself, I opened the lyrics I had pasted in the amane Group LINE notes on my phone and gently handed it to Erina.
“Thank you!”
With a bright, beaming smile, Erina shifted her gaze to the smartphone.
＊ ＊ ＊
『Charm』
That day you turned the world upside down
With just a single word
From the bottom of my heart
I thought you were so cool
I’m sure you’ll continue to do so
Keep stealing this gaze of mine
From the depths of my stomach
I laughed because I couldn’t compete
I received a share of that courage
And from there, I spun the threads
When I wove them vertically and horizontally
Look, one song was born
It might not be of much help
But surely, as much as you think of that person
I like you
What that meaning implies is a secret, though
Then, if you ask “What's that?”
And laugh like you always do
If even a little bit
Your heart becomes warmer
I’ll be so happy I could cry
Hey, for that alone, I’m glad I told you
That day you turned the world upside down
For the sake of someone else
From the bottom of my heart
I prayed for your happiness
I borrowed that resolve of yours
And spun those words
When I wove them with care
Look, one song was born
It might not be of any use
But surely, as much as you think of that person
I like you
What that meaning implies is a secret, though
Then, if you ask “What's that?”
And laugh like you always do
If even a little bit
Your heart starts looking forward
That person must feel the same way too
Look, for that alone, I’m glad I told you
Sing when it's painful
If that becomes the power for your usual smile
If even a little bit
Your heart becomes warmer
I’ll be so happy I could cry
Hey, I’m really glad I fell in love with you
Sorry for making it so long
With all my thoughts and all my prayers
Woven inside
Because I made this charm
If it's okay with you
Please keep just this song by your side
Please keep even just this song by your side
＊ ＊ ＊
Since she shifted her eyes to the phone, she had been reading the lyrics with an unusually serious face.
I sat there with my chin in my hand, watching her while trying to ease my own tension as much as possible. ...My right hand was still held by Erina.
After a while, Erina, who seemed to have finished reading, looked up.
“Thank you...!”
The phone returned to my hand. Phew, that was nerve-wracking...
“Yeah... Yeah. Just as I thought, they were really great lyrics...! Yuri, you should become a lyricist!”
“No, well, I mean, I already am a lyricist...”
I think Erina meant I should become a professional, but I felt embarrassed and dodged the point. For some reason, the way I was talking really felt like my middle school days. And it also felt a bit similar to a certain someone.
“Erina doesn't really understand difficult words, but I felt so encouraged! And you know,”
Having said that much, Erina returned to a slightly serious expression and stared into my eyes.
“I thought last night... that this sounds like Yuri's feelings too.”
...Well, of course it would come to that.
Otherwise, there would be no point in asking me to let her read the lyrics instead of Sakohasu or Konuma.
“...This isn't just me, it's the feelings of the band. We all made it together, saying we hoped it would become a charm for Erina.”
After taking in her implication, I gave a temporary answer. It wasn't a lie. I just wasn't telling 100 percent of the truth.
“I think you did that for me, but... even so,”
“It's unrefined to say all sorts of things about the lyrics, Erina?”
I interrupted her, consciously keeping the warmth in my voice as much as possible.
“Erina isn't ugly!”
Erina frowned.
“No, I didn't say that...”
It seems she misheard ‘unrefined’ as ‘ugly.’
“Hey... Yuri, aren't you going to tell them you ‘like’ them?”
And then, she went right on to pursue my delicate spot.
...Seriously, she's so tactless.
And, she's so pure.
At this point, it would be difficult to dodge her completely.
But, well.
Right there, I finally regained my own pace.
Inside my heart, I smiled with plenty of composure.
...How many tens of thousands of times do you think I've thought about that, and how many tens of thousands of characters have I written?
“It's not that I've decided not to tell them. It's just that telling them wouldn't benefit my dream.”
“What's Yuri's dream?”
“Let's see...”
I called to mind what I had told Konuma the other day.
‘I’m going to do everything I can so that the band amane can debut. I don't care if it's as a lyricist or a manager. Anyway, I've decided to bet the rest of my youth and the time beyond that on making amane's debut come true.’
“...Well, it's various things.”
Explaining all of this to Erina would be too boring, redundant, and truly tactless.
Swallowing my ‘various things’ for a moment, Erina’s hand tightened slightly.
“But, then, are you going to hold back...? Are you going to... sacrifice yourself?”
“What are you talking about?”
I waved my hand in front of my face and then put on as bold a smile as I could manage.
“I’m not holding back, and I’m not going to be a sacrifice, okay?”
“Is... that so?”
Her eyes shone with concern.
...Seriously, there are nothing but cute girls around me.
“I have no intention of living for someone else's sake. Everything I do is for myself. And to make my dream come true, I’ll offer up anything I have. Whether it's time, effort, tears... or even romance, even love.”
“Love...”
I know that word is something special to Erina.
“But that's not holding back, and it's not a sacrifice. I don't think you should use words like holding back or sacrifice for things you do for the sake of what you want to achieve.”
“Heeh...?”
Erina tilted her head slightly.
“So, you see.”
If I had to put it into words.
“This is my resolve.”
“Resolve...?”
“Yes, resolve.”
When I gave her a defiant smile, Erina stared at my face for a few seconds before bursting out with a “Hehe!”
“Erina doesn't really get that~”
“Ahaha, I see.”
Her overly frank way of saying it made me chuckle too. Give me back the time I spent explaining.
“But if Yuri's okay with it, then it's fine. It's not like I wanted to say you were wrong or anything.”
“Is that so? But then, why did you suddenly ask something like that? It's unusual for you, Erina. You’ve never cared about me before, right?”
As I discussed with Konuma, Erina's ‘love’ should have a capacity.
Stepping in this far meant that, in Erina's case, she was prepared to shoulder the emotions and troubles that might come from it.
“Don't say things like ‘never cared about me’...”
Erina continued while pouting slightly.
“Hmm... I think it's hard for everyone to say ‘help me’ on their own. They might think they'll be hated if they rely on someone, or that it's uncool. It takes more courage to say ‘help me,’ doesn't it?”
“Well, maybe so.”
She had a point. I mean, Erina really does start deep conversations out of nowhere.
“But you know, it really helped Erina that Takuto-kun was there.”
“Konuma?”
When I asked, Erina nodded gently.
“When Erina was pushing herself too hard, he told me not to push myself. Even when I rejected him, he didn't leave and stayed right there. Just knowing there's someone who will reach out a hand makes me so happy. ...And I found out yesterday that Yuri, Sakosh, and Amane-chan were all working hard for Erina's sake too.”
“That's true...”
I recognized once again that I had to get along with the part of myself that felt a bit envious.
“So, I just wanted Yuri to know that Erina is here too. That there’s someone reaching out a hand~”
As she spoke, her hand overlapping my right hand tightened a bit.
“I see... thanks.”
I can't let my guard down yet, but even so, I truly felt happy hearing Erina's words.
“But even so, why me? Did you grow to ‘love’ me?”
When I said it jokingly, Erina laughed and said, “Ahaha, what's that?”
“Well, I can't say ‘I love you’ or ‘I adore you’ that easily, but,”
Nihihi, Erina raised the corners of her mouth.
“Erina thinks she's a fan of the lyrics Yuri writes!”
At those words, I caught my breath.
...I see. I’m not in the corner of the classroom anymore.
“...Thank you, Erina.”
＊ ＊ ＊