“Good morning, Konuma-kun.”
“Oh, Ichikawa...”
As I squinted my eyes against the morning sun, which was way too bright for my sleep-deprived body, I passed through the ticket gates of Shin-Koganei Station to find Ichikawa waiting for me, wearing her blazer and a muffler.
This morning, I had received a message saying, ‘Since we can’t go home together today because of band practice, would you like to go to school together this morning?’ Why the polite language all of a sudden?
“Konuma-kun, are you okay? You look sleepy.”
“Well, yeah...”
“Did Yuri not let you sleep last night?”
“Well, yeah...”
“Mmm...!”
Ichikawa narrowed her eyes and puffed out her cheeks in dissatisfaction. Hey, you were the one who suggested it...
With a foggy head, I recalled the events of yesterday.
* * *
Just after leaving the building where Ariga-san’s company was located, Azuma looked up at me with an incredibly serious expression.
“Konuma, I reaaaaally want to talk right now, but it’s going to be too late by the time we get back. Can I call you once I'm home?”
“Sure, let’s do that.”
After making that promise, I headed home. (There was another bit of trouble during the transfers on the way back, but that’s a story for another time.)
Then, fully prepared and fired up, I started the call.
『Took a bath. Removed my makeup. Pajamas on. I’m in full combat mode.』
“No, you sound completely relaxed.”
『And what about you, Konuma?』
“Well, except for the makeup, it’s pretty much the same...”
Starting with such a pointless introduction...
『First, we have to re-evaluate the fact that we are amane... believers.』
“True. I’m impressed you managed to say it without adding ‘Sama’... that’s remarkable progress!”
『Don’t underestimate me. My lips are bleeding right now...!』
“Seriously...? I did hear a grinding sound, like you were gnashing your teeth...”
Doing such silly, loyalty-test-like actions...
『In the end, I feel like the difference between ‘Kyousou’ and ‘Your Song’ is just the person who made them. Do you think that’s the right answer?』
“Does that mean amane should move forward with songs made by us instead of Ichikawa? I don’t know, it feels like that’s not quite right...”
『Right...』
We had an exchange that seemed somewhat decent but clearly missed the mark.
『Hey Konuma, in my original plan, I was supposed to have an awakening during this call...』
“Yeah, let’s work hard for that.”
『But, it’s already 2 AM, you know?』
“I know. It’s okay, we’re just getting started. We can’t turn back now.”
『In a reading comprehension problem I did for middle school exams, there was this story called the ‘Concorde Fallacy’...』
Despite being on the phone all night, we never reached an answer, and eventually...
『Konumaaa, I can hear the morning birds chirping... We welcomed the morning together...』
“Yeah, over here it’s pigeons. Morning poppo-ing.”
『Ahaha, like a steam train poppo. Actually, it’s not even chirping on my end... Hilarious...』
“Well, yeah...”
Around the time I gave a dry laugh, I could only hear something like the sound of sleeping from the other side. I whispered a soft “Good night” and gently hung up.
* * *
“It was a phone call, right? You didn't stay over at her place or anything, did you?”
“It was just a call...”
“Then, I guess it’s fine... But really, what did Ariga-san say to you? Was it enough to keep you talking that long...? Did she bully you?”
“Hmm...”
How should I explain this?
If I told her we were told there’s no value in being in a band together if we’re just believers of the singer-songwriter amane, what kind of face would Ichikawa make?
Maybe she’d agree, saying ‘That’s true, isn't it?’, or get angry at Ariga-san, saying ‘That’s horrible!’, or she might be exasperated, saying ‘I already knew that. Weren't you two aware?’
I want to believe it wouldn't be the last one, but in any case, telling the person herself about our worthlessness is too painful.
“No... anyway, I wasn't bullied. It’s just, I really understood the weight of Ariga-san’s love for you, Ichikawa.”
“Hmm...?”
“Sorry, it’s too pathetic, so I can’t really say it. I’ll tell you once I've overcome it. Right now, I still can’t.”
“I get it-ssu...”
She seemed dissatisfied but reluctantly accepted it. Should I assume her pouting is because she ended her sentence with ‘ssu’?
“Anyway, isn't this the first time we've met up to go to school together?”
I tried to change the subject with the thought I had earlier.
“Ah, yeah, maybe?”
After saying that, Ichikawa softly pulled her muffler up to her mouth.
“...I thought it would be nice if I was the first person Konuma-kun sees today.”
“Oh... Wait, what!?”
She suddenly dropped a killer line without any warning, making me react like a comedy straight man.
As I looked at Ichikawa with my heart racing, she let out a slightly gloomy sigh.
“Sigh... You know, I realized after becoming one, but being Konuma-kun’s girlfriend is actually quite tough. I never know what's going to happen, I can’t relax even after becoming your girlfriend, or rather, you don’t go easy on me...”
“What are you talking about...?”
I don’t think I’m just being dense in this case...? When I frowned, Ichikawa sighed once more, looking like she’d given up.
“It’s nothing. I’m just thinking about various things on my own.”
“No, even if you say that...”
“If you tell me what Ariga-san said, I’ll tell you, okay?”
“Ugh...”
Seeing me lose my words, Ichikawa gave a wry smile. “See?”
“But now that you mention it, it feels like... the day where we can go to school together like this has finally come. If it were the Konuma-kun from when we first talked, you would’ve said, ‘Ah, I’ll go alone... I’ll just be a bother to a normie...’ and you wouldn't have walked with me.”
“Ah... Hey, was that an impression of me?”
“You’d probably even say you want to ‘hide’ the fact that we’re dating.”
...My question was naturally ignored, but well, it’s not like she could be imitating anyone else, so I’ll let it slide.
“Well, I definitely would have said that...”
It wasn't about being embarrassed, I simply thought that being with someone like me would damage Ichikawa’s image or reputation.
To be honest, that feeling hasn't entirely disappeared even now.
Actually, I’m probably just afraid that if I said that, Ichikawa would be disappointed in me, so I haven't been able to say it.
I still feel a sense of inferiority, like... how could someone like me be dating her?
“I thought I swore to go ‘beyond admiration’...”
Maybe it was because I hadn't slept much, or because I had been thinking about it so much.
Before I knew it, I was muttering to myself while clenching and unclenching my right hand.
“Honestly... I thought I told you clearly.”
“Eh?”
When I looked at Ichikawa, she gave a soft, lonely, and slightly troubled smile.
“Hey, Konuma-kun... you are the one I admire, you know?”