"...Erina-san...!"
I called out her name, my breath hitching in my chest.
She was sitting alone on a park bench in the evening gloom, illuminated by the lonely spotlight of a white fluorescent lamp.
Noticing me, she waved her hand with a flippant smile.
"Ah—, it's Takuto-kun. You didn't really have to come, you know? I stayed here because you told me to, but... is Amane-chan okay with this?"
"She might... not be okay, but, well, I'll figure something out later."
"Is that so? I wonder if Takuto-kun can really pull that off?"
*
"It... didn't work out..."
Upon hearing Erina-san's report, I stood frozen in the dark corridor with my smartphone held to my ear. Beyond my gaze, inside the studio, the three girls of amane were chatting with Hoshikage-san, a first-year piano student from the Instrumental Club who had come by for club duties.
"...Erina-san, where are you right now?"
For some reason, the question that left my throat sounded like a welfare check.
"Eh—? As for where... let's see, where am I? I was just walking aimlessly and ended up somewhere I don't recognize..."
"Somewhere you don't recognize..."
The fact that she had walked to a place she didn't know without realizing it proved just how much Erina-san was out of it. I felt like it would be dangerous to leave her like this.
"What's around you? Any shops?"
"Let's see... there's a place called 'Sai no Tsuno'... what is it? A curry shop? Yeah, there's that... Oh, and there's a park over there too."
"...Stay in that park."
"Eh, Takuto-kun, are you planning to come...? But..."
"Just stay there."
I hung up the phone. I searched for 'Sai no Tsuno' on the map and sighed. This place is almost one station over...
"Konuma-kun?" "Takuto?"
The two voices snapped me back to reality. Without me noticing, the three of them had walked a little further down the corridor, and Hoshikage-san seemed to have gone to another club room.
My face must have looked quite desperate. Ichikawa and Azuma peered into my face with concern.
And then, Sako alone.
"Takuto, could it be...!?"
I gave a soft nod in response.
From Sako's rising intonation, it seemed the other two had also sensed something.
"Konuma-kun... was that call from Erina-chan?"
"...Yeah."
I nodded firmly.
"Ichikawa, I..."
"Yeah, go to her."
Ichikawa smiled before I could even finish my sentence. Seeing that expression, Azuma's face stiffened.
To Azuma, that probably didn't look like a smile at all. ...It was the same for me.
"...Well, it can't be helped, right? It's not like you're trying to start something with Erina-chan. If I don't send you off with a smile, my maturity would be called into question, ahaha."
"Sorry, Ichikawa. But..."
"...Hurry and go."
As I continued to hesitate, Ichikawa interrupted me, looked up, and smiled much more lonely than before.
"While I can still manage to be a cool girl, okay?"
"...Sorry!"
I started running.
*
"And to think you'd actually come all the way to see Erina, Takuto-kun really is Takuto-kun..."
Erina-san smiled, looking a bit happier than her usual mocking self.
"Don't say it like that, I'm pretty terrified too..."
"Ehehe," Erina-san laughed again, then stretched out her legs.
"Aah—! It didn't work!"
She let out a massive sigh.
Erina-san still had that flippant smile plastered on her face.
"Ah—ah, everything that was precious to Erina—love, romance, everything—it's all gone now."
She spoke as if swallowing each phrase.
"Why did I end up having these feelings?"
As if trying not to spill a single drop.
"Why did I end up conveying these feelings?"
She placed her words down gently, one by one, as if trying to prevent them from exploding.
Then, she muttered with a bitter smile.
"The feelings themselves were a mistake."
"Erina-san..."
"They say 'regret for doing it is better than regret for not doing it,' right? But if this was the result, 'regret for not doing it' would have been much better, ahaha—."
The way she laughed it off was far too 'cool,' and that's exactly why seeing that smile was so painful.
"I should have just kept supporting the future where Kenji and Sakosh become a couple, like I did before I talked to Takuto-kun... If I had, the three of us could have stayed together... Ehehe, saying that now is too late, though."
"Erina-san, look..."
"But!"
That strong girl stood up with a bounce and stood directly in front of me.
"Erina is totally fine now!"
Then, she flashed double peace signs once again.
"If that's true, then that's great, but..."
...But that's not it. It shouldn't be like this.
This isn't what Erina-san's smile is supposed to look like.
It could be that mischievous, mean grin, or that motherly smile she occasionally shows.
But it shouldn't be this painful, forced smile that looks like it was just pasted on.
Even though I had so many thoughts, I didn't know how to put them into words, and Erina-san continued talking.
"Hey, hey, Takuto-kun! Who do you think I should fall in love with next? If someone's going to walk beside Erina, being handsome is a mandatory requirement, right!"
'It's not that I like those traits, I like that person.' 'That's exactly why it has to be that person...'
Erina-san's words from lunch suddenly flashed back to me.
"Next, you say...?"
"Next is next! I'm giving up on Kenji already! The best way to forget a love is with another love! I mean, Erina isn't Kenji's type at all!"
'I think things like appearance or personality make it advantageous or disadvantageous, but I think liking someone means you can't give up on them for those reasons.'
"If I do that, we can surely be good friends again, right? Erina will just be Kenji's female friend, the band's manager, and that's it!"
'Erina will become someone special to Kenji, no matter what it takes.'
For a little devil who usually teases and enjoys herself with seductive lies, her lying was far too clumsy.
"And also, and, also—..."
"Erina-san, don't push yourself...!"
I didn't want to let Erina-san, who was looking up at the sky and smiling as if holding something back, pile on any more of these painful lies. Those words just slipped out.
"...Eh? I'm not pushing myself at all?"
"You are..."
I don't have the ability to read expressions, but even I can tell that much.
"Erina-san, when you can't look forward, you don't have to. At a time as tough as this, don't try so hard, don't force yourself."
The things I thought kept crawling up from my throat one after another.
But.
Upon hearing those words, Erina-san's expression suddenly turned dead serious.
"...If I don't push myself, will something change?"
"...Eh?"
My body froze at Erina-san's words, which were spoken with such a low temperature.
"If Erina doesn't push herself here and cries like a child, will this pain go away? Will I be able to date Kenji? Will I be able to stop feeling bad things about Sakosh? Can the three of us stay close and be together forever?"
She let out a small sigh.
"Can everyone become happy?"
"That's..."
There's no way. I know there isn't, but...
"See...?"
"I'm sorry..."
In front of me, as I could do nothing but apologize, Erina-san formed that flippant smile once again.
"That's why, you see. I'm going to push myself. You said 'a face that smiles through the struggle is really cool,' didn't you?"
How many things has Erina-san overcome by pushing herself like this?
'Just thinking about the person I like being happy... just thinking about it makes my chest hurt so much I don't know what to do.'
'But if you can't wish for the happiness of the person you like, that might be 'crush,' but it's not 'love.' Definitely.'
'It means Takuto-kun's happiness doesn't belong only to Takuto-kun anymore!'
'It would be great if Yuri-chan could become truly happy, right?'
'If you make Erina's best friend sad, I won't forgive you.'
Always, this lying devil pretends to think only of herself, but she's always thinking of ways to make everyone else happy.
But, if that's the case.
"Then, is Erina-san just going to keep pushing herself...?"
At my words, which threatened to invalidate Erina-san's efforts, her manufactured smile looked like it was about to collapse rapidly.
In that instant, as if to hide her face, Erina-san buried her head against my shoulder with a soft thud.
"Hey, Takuto-kun...?"
But, already.
That voice, rasping with tears.
The lukewarm droplets slowly soaking into my shirt.
Those things told the story that this, and only this, was the truth and not a lie.
"Erina... might not be able to take it anymore...!"