“Amane-san, it’s been a while.”
While the Cherry Boys were cleaning up, a beautiful woman in a pantsuit with a short haircut called out to Ichikawa, who was stretching in the wings of the stage.
The moment she saw the woman, Ichikawa’s face brightened instantly.
“Ariga-san!”
...Ah, so this is Ariga the manager! I completely assumed she would be a man...
“You actually came!”
“Of course. amane’s revival is my greatest wish. Honestly, I wanted to see the exact moment you became able to sing again... I’m still frustrated I missed it!”
“Ahaha... Well, I didn’t think I’d be able to do something like that on that day either...”
Ichikawa, with troubled eyebrows, tried to soothe the teeth-gritting Ariga-san.
Despite her professional appearance, she seemed to be the type to show her emotions quite directly.
“So, are these two the ones you’re working with now?”
“Yes!”
Ariga-san made eye contact with us, and we both gave a light bow.
“I’m Konuma, on drums.”
“I’m Hasu, on bass.”
I really don’t know how to handle conversations with adults...
“I see... So, you’re Hasu-san’s daughter.”
Ariga-san said that while looking at Sako.
“You know my pa... my father?”
She almost said 'Papa' just now...
“Yes, I heard about Amane-san’s revival from Hasu-san’s father.”
“Eh, from Sako-san’s father!?”
Ichikawa’s eyes widened.
“Yeah, Hasu-san’s father is a music writer, so we’ve known each other for a long time. When I met him for work the other day, he told me, ‘It seems my daughter is playing bass for amane.’ By the way, the one who wrote the article about amane’s hiatus was also Hasu-san.”
“Is that so...”
In place of the stunned Ichikawa, I asked,
“Did you know?”
Sako gently shook her head.
“I knew Papa was a music writer, of course, but I didn't know he was connected to Ichikawa-san’s manager. Papa didn't say anything either...”
“I see...”
I knew Sako’s father was a music otaku, but I didn't realize that was his profession... Somehow, everything is connected in various places.
“Well, anyway! I’m looking forward to seeing Amane-san sing again today.”
Ariga-san clapped her hands together.
“Depending on today’s performance, I might be able to make a re-debut offer. Right?”
“...Yes!”
Ichikawa nodded with a smile.
...Are you serious, are you serious, are you serious!?
At the words 're-debut,' my excitement reached its peak all at once.
“Well, good luck!”
Just as Ariga-san waved and left, Azuma, who had been in the restroom, returned.
“What’s up? Who was that beautiful person?”
“She’s amane’s former manager! Azuma, it’s incredible! If today’s performance is good, amane will be revived!”
“Seriously!?”
“Seriously!!”
Azuma’s eyes widened with joy, and she grabbed my hands and started jumping. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling either.
“Wait, you two, your voices are too loud...!”
Ichikawa soothed us, looking troubled but happy.
“Konuma, Sakohasu, make sure you support Amane properly.”
Still unable to contain her excitement, Azuma grabbed my hand and Sako’s hand, shaking them firmly as if injecting energy into us.
“Leave it to us. I’ll make sure amane debuts once more.”
“Oh, Sakohasu is pretty fired up, huh?”
“Of course.”
Sako smirked just a fraction of a millimeter.
“I decided that I would support her,” she declared.
“...I see.”
Azuma nodded softly.
While we were talking,
“Takuto-kun, we’re all done cleaning up~?”
It was time for our turn.
“Well then, let’s huddle up!”
Saying that, Ichikawa held out her right hand.
Ichikawa-san, you really like huddling, don’t you...?
“This time, let’s see... I’ll do it to properly convey my important feelings.”
“I’ll do it to make amane the ‘number one’ band.”
“I’ll do it to give a push to the people important to me.”
Being watched by the three who had held out their right hands, I whispered softly.
“I will...”
I took a breath and placed my right hand on theirs.
“Go beyond my admiration.”
When I said that,
“...That’s the spirit.”
Ichikawa smiled fearlessly.
“Alright, let’s do this!”
At Ichikawa’s command,
“““Oh!”””
We united our hearts.
We went up to the stage, and as we connected our instruments,
“Hello everyone, we are amane!”
Ichikawa declared the start of our live performance.
“Yay!” “amane, do a YUI song!” “Do the song you played last at Rock-On!”
Everyone in the venue responded in their own way.
There were good reactions, and there were people who looked bored. There were probably people who were happy in their hearts but didn't speak up, and vice versa.
At the very back of that classroom.
I felt as if my self from exactly one year ago was there, arms crossed, sulking and thinking, ‘That’s not it...’
“I’ve come a long way,” a cliché I don’t even know who coined came to mind.
The physical distance between the very back and the stage is probably only about ten meters.
But you know.
You can’t even imagine how rare this view is, and because of that, how hard it is to let go of.
I know what you’re thinking right now.
You’ve probably decided that music played with others at a school festival is weak, frivolous, all about looks, and uncool, right?
It’s not just music.
You probably think they’re all fools who don't even have a ‘self,’ just playing at being friends, playing at romance, playing at being a band, playing at youth.
You probably thought it was all a sham, a fiction, didn't you?
Maybe you weren't entirely wrong.
But.
Even if it’s playing, even if it’s a sham, even if it’s fiction, it probably doesn't really matter.
Because the emotions born there are the only undeniable ‘real’ things that no amount of doubt can overturn.
That’s why I’m going to play it with everything I’ve got.
“...And now.”
Ichikawa, who had been doing the MC, took a breath.
Finally, the performance begins.
“Please listen to the song that was the start for the four of us, the song that triggered everything. It’s called ‘Weekday’.”
“Four people...?” “Did she make a mistake?”
A slight buzz of confusion arose, but as the performance began, the sound drowned it out.
“One, two, three, four...”
No, they’re wrong.
Music that could easily brush aside such doubts had begun at our hands.
* * *
‘Weekday’
I left the house, chased by the alarm clock
With my leather shoes just barely on my feet
I dived into the classroom at the same time as the chime
Everyone laughed at my bedhead
Waking up that should be gloomy, the train that should be cramped, the school that should be a pain,
I wonder why
At the secret message running under the desk
I blurted out “Eh?” and got scolded
Instead of me who was called on in 4th period
My stomach answered and they laughed again
The class that should be boring, the studying that should be difficult, the school that should be a pain,
I wonder why
On the way home, I let the train pass many times
Watching the sun set at the platform
On the train back, remembering today
It’s strange, it hurts a little
The commute home that should be a hassle, the train that should be cramped, the school that should be a pain,
I wonder why
* * *
‘...Because high school days and youth won’t stay here forever.’
I remembered Azuma’s profile when she said that.
The reason why Azuma chose this song instead of ‘My Song’ or ‘Kyousou’ for the Instrumental Club’s performance today.
‘And, there are so many “Weekdays” sandwiched between those events that we might forget, but are so dear to us that we can’t hold them all.’
It must have been to connect ‘Weekday’ after ‘THANK YOU ALL’.
‘With gratitude for all the special days, and all the ordinary days.’
That was probably Yuri-poem.
Suddenly, I made eye contact with Azuma, who was standing near the front row.
Then, she smirked and pointed at me.
When I frowned and tilted my head as if to say ‘Hmm?’, Azuma spoke.
I don’t have the skill to read expressions like Azuma does, but.
“From here on,”
Her lips seemed to be moving to say that.
* * *
Hey, I wonder why?
The more fun or happy it is, the more painful it becomes
Split-bill ice cream, scribbles on the desk, the “Good morning” greeting
I started to count how many times more, then stopped
Hey, I wonder why?
While these days are still normal, will I find the answer?
The bench at sunset, the convenience store on the way back, the “See you” greeting
I wonder for how many seconds more I can look at that profile?
* * *
“It’s about Konuma.”
* * *
Pretending not to know, I laughed again. Just one ordinary, mediocre daily life.
* * *
The final note rang out, and the first applause filled the venue.
In the midst of it, Azuma was smiling with a gentle, sisterly face.
No, maybe.
Maybe she was just trying to smile, but.
“Thank you very much!”
Without time to grasp Azuma’s expression, the MC began.
As I was still staring blankly in her direction, Azuma broke her smile, made a scowl, and pointed toward Ichikawa as if to say, “Concentrate!”
“The next song is... a song I made a long time ago. The lyrics are meant to cheer someone on, but I think I probably didn't make it for anyone in particular, but rather with the thought that I wish someone would sing a song like this for me.”
‘I was a “loner” until the day I met Konuma-kun.’
A song Ichikawa made for herself when she was all alone.
“But, just a moment ago, a few minutes ago, I decided to give this to my... probably, friend.”
Probably, friend...?
As I tilted my head and followed Ichikawa’s gaze, there stood the Devil-san who had confessed on stage earlier, standing there with the blank face of a normal girl, her mouth agape.
“I don’t know what that person thinks of me, but I want to give this song to her! To the cute you who said you liked this song. Please listen to ‘Boat’.”
Ichikawa turned back for a moment, I nodded and gave the count.
* * *
‘Boat’
For example, even the water birds gliding across the surface with a cool face
Their feet are struggling underneath
Even beneath the surface of your always gentle smile
There’s surely a “truth”
For example, at the very first moment of rowing a boat
The paddle feels the heaviest
No matter how many times you sit down
You who stands up again
How much strength are you really putting into it?
The boat famous for couples breaking up if they ride it
Every time on the way home, I squeeze my hands together and wish
“I hope that you, though acting tough, will eventually be properly rewarded”
I can’t say the things I really want to say
Gritting my teeth and biting my lower lip
If you’re afraid of the emotions that would take shape if spoken
I’ll pretend not to know
That your face smiling through the strain is so cool
The boat famous for couples breaking up if they ride it
Every time on the way home, I squeeze my hands together and wish
“I hope that you, though acting tough, can be your true self somewhere”
* * *
I remembered Erina-san crouching and crying on the stair landing once.
‘Erina has decided that no matter what, she’ll choose love over romance.’
Thinking about love, feeling romance, burning with desire, calculating, planning strategies, and yet still not having things go easily.
Making calculations she shouldn't have to make, or protecting a romantic rival for the sake of love.
Even so, Erina-san doesn't stop walking.
She might not just be moving forward.
In fact, she might be taking nothing but detours.
‘So, Takuto-kun, help me out, okay~?’
Involving others, she desperately continues to challenge the battle.
‘You’ve probably noticed, right?’
I think Erina-san is cool from the bottom of my heart.
‘But, if you can’t wish for the happiness of the person you like, that might be “romance” but it’s not “love,” right? Definitely.’
I’m definitely not in love with Erina-san, but I can’t help but wish for her happiness.
I think that emotion might be called...
...friendship.
‘Takuto-kun is Takuto-kun through and through...’
* * *
Biting your lip when it’s truly painful
Sighing where no one can see
If you’re afraid of the emotions that would take shape if spoken
I’ll pretend not to know
That seeing your heart-felt smile makes me happy
* * *
So, Erina-san.
This is probably about all we can say, but.
* * *
“Good luck” and “It’s okay” are irresponsible, and there’s little I can say
But if you could just remember that there’s at least one ally right here, that would be enough
* * *
When Ichikawa finished singing, tears streamed down the cheeks of the happily smiling Erina-san.
“...It reached her.”
Ichikawa whispered so the microphone wouldn't pick it up, and breathed a sigh of relief.
“Well then, let’s go to the next song...! Next is the song we played for the encore at the previous Rock-On.”
When Ichikawa said that,
“I love that one!” “Yay!”
Voices of joy rose from the audience.
“Um, about this song... there’s not much to talk about, so shall we just do it?”
She said that and looked back at me and Sako.
Then, Sako lightly raised her hand.
“Wait a moment.”
“Hmm? Sako-san, you’re going to talk?”
“Yes.”
She gave a firm nod.
“Whoa...! Ah, go ahead, go ahead.”
Perhaps from surprise, Ichikawa spoke in a strange way and offered the stage to Sako.
Sako spoke into the chorus microphone.
“Um, there’s just one thing I wanted to convey here.”
Sako isn't actually a person of few words, but she is often perceived as being silent.
The venue was buzzing with comments like, “Sako-sama is speaking,” and “She really is.”
“Um, in the past, my head went a bit crazy with things like jealousy and impatience. That’s why my hair ended up this color...”
The audience laughed.
Sako didn't seem to understand what was funny, as she frowned by a fraction of a millimeter and tilted her head before continuing.
“Because of that, I lashed out at everyone, caused trouble, hurt people, and I thought that there was nothing left for me to do, or that I was even permitted to do. But, listening to this song, I thought that maybe,”
Sako said, clenching and unclenching her right hand and staring at it intently.
“...It might be convenient for me to say this. Even things born from bad emotions, if you can desperately start over, maybe you can make it so it was ‘good that it happened’.”
She said that and let out a small, audible chuckle.
‘Hey, Takuto. I finally... instead of taking, was able to give.’
“I don’t have anything, but even so, there’s a little I was able to do. It might be something that anyone other than me could have done, but I’m proud that I was the one who did it.”
Sako turned toward Ichikawa.
“Um, Ichikawa-san.”
“Y-Yes...!”
Ichikawa faced Sako as if nervous, yet straightening her back properly.
“I realized I hadn't properly told you.”
“What is it?”
“This song is my favorite song in the whole world.”
Ichikawa gasped.
“So, I’m glad you were there. I’m glad it was... you who was there.”
“Sako-san...!”
Ichikawa’s eyes grew watery.
While the audience tilted their heads, wondering, “What are they talking about?”
Smiling, Ichikawa lightly wiped the corners of her eyes and turned back to the microphone.
“Ah, getting made to cry all of a sudden...”
Ichikawa took a deep breath as if to steady herself.
“Ehehe, everyone, I’m sorry. Our bassist can be a bit reckless sometimes...”
Then, her voice became firm.
“But, she’s kinder and stronger than anyone, a super cool girl. I’ll perform this with those people dear to me. ‘My Song’.”
* * *
‘My Song’
Hey, is there even a single thing that only I can do?
In the corner of the classroom, I’m just being a good girl
Hey, is there even a single thing like an irreplaceable existence?
I might never know my fated person living in a distant town for my whole life
I have nothing, so I have no confidence
Because I have no confidence, I have no courage
Remaining unable to even say “Stay by my side”
* * *
‘Takuto, I really have nothing. I can’t play bass as well as Yurisuke, I’m not cute inside or out like Erina, and I can’t write lyrics or music that you’d listen to hundreds of times like Ichikawa-san, but—’
While playing, Sako’s words played back in my mind simultaneously.
‘I want to be by Takuto’s side forever. I feel that more than anyone, and more strongly than anyone.’
* * *
If you walk avoiding pain and wounds, before you know it, you’re far from the important things
That’s probably because being near the important things is probably what hurts the most
* * *
‘I think things will be pretty tough from now on. I think there will be many painful, hurting, and difficult things, but—’
The things Sako has given me up until now.
‘Even so, I’m glad I met Takuto. That’s what I think.’
With each of those thoughts, I felt my vision blurring.
* * *
Only difficult things, only painful things, I want to throw away today
But maybe, just maybe
In a crowd of 6 billion people, just one grain, to someone who could say “I’m glad you were here” to me who can’t become anyone
I might one day meet them
* * *
The interlude began.
Looking toward Sako, Ichikawa laughed happily.
As if in response.
Sako smiled with a face full of confidence and pride.
* * *
Hey, is there even a single thing that only I can do?
I answer: that doesn't matter at all
If because I was here,
Because I breathed, because I laughed, because I cried, because I sang,
Something was born
No matter how small that thing is, it’s fine
I’ll live holding it up like pride, like a medal, with a stupid smile
This is my song
* * *
I beat the cymbals recklessly. I stepped on the bass drum.
As I thought, I’m weak against this song.
In my vision that blurred no matter how many times we rehearsed,
Clang!
I struck one cymbal note carefully, to deliver it firmly to the person closest to me.
“Thank you very much!”
“““Waaaaaaaaaaa!!”””
The venue erupted at the performance of ‘My Song,’ which had somehow become a popular track.
‘That was good...’ I thought, almost letting my guard down, but the live performance wasn't over yet.
Wiping away sweat, Ichikawa continued the MC.
“Um, time flies... the next one is our last song!”
“““Eeeeeeeeeee!!!”””
The classic routine of being disappointed at the last song. Everyone is so into it...
“Only a few months have passed since the last Rock-On, but many things have happened,” Ichikawa began.
“‘amane’ couldn't write music, couldn't write lyrics... we fought, we made up, we gave each other a push, we got slapped on the back...”
I think many things really did happen.
If we listed them all, we’d easily use up all our allotted time.
Checking the clock, we had a little over five minutes left.
Just enough for one last song.
“But, we overcame all of it, all of it, and we finally have a song that’s finished.”
Ichikawa declared fearlessly, matchlessly, with the smile of a last boss.
“Putting everything into it, I’ll sing. ‘Kyousou’.”
* * *
‘Kyousou’
Shoelaces came undone, I tripped, I fell
I crouched down and couldn't move
That was probably not because I got a scrape
But because I learned the pain of getting a scrape
Afraid of starting again, sulking, being moody
While I was moping, everyone went far away
My hands and feet can’t reach my admiration
Before I knew it, I was in last place
Just when I was about to retire
I heard a powerful sound from somewhere
The identity of that sound carving a rhythm, beating a beat
Was the beating of my own heart
I don’t have any confidence, I don’t even know the definition
But I’ve decided now that I’ll become the strongest
Don't wait for me
I’ll be right there soon
Just when I was about to run out of breath
I heard a powerful sound from somewhere
The identity of that sound like fireworks, like drums
Was the words you gave me
* * *
‘“If you’re going to reach for your admiration,” then you have to be this serious about it. Takuto?’
Sako’s emotional voice from the day of the fireworks festival came back to me.
* * *
I don’t have any confidence, I don’t know if I’ll reach it
But I’ve already decided I’ll become the strongest
Don't wait for me
I’ll go beyond that soon
* * *
From here, the song reaches its climax.
The final lyrics, I’ve already received them from Azuma.
It was those words from Azuma’s Instrumental Club performance.
‘Please let me say one thing I want all my band members to remember.’
They were surely magic words that affirmed everything up until now.
* * *
Goodbye, the me that was sulking
Goodbye, the me that was moody
Goodbye, the me that was afraid
Goodbye, the me that was losing
* * *
Including all the mistaken past, because of that, we can go further.
Ichikawa smiled and looked at Azuma.
Azuma clenched her fist and held it toward us.
It was just like a fist bump.
* * *
I’m glad you all were here
I’ll play this song along with everything until today
* * *
With the words I received from Azuma in my heart, I beat the cymbals all at once.
The bass swelled, the guitar wailed.
The moment the gazes of the four of us crossed.
Bam!!
The final note rang out.
I stood up.
“Thank you very much! We were amane!”
“““Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!”””
Applause rang out and wouldn't stop.
“Phew...”
Now, what happens from here...
Sako drank water from a plastic bottle.
Ichikawa wiped away sweat and caught her breath.
Watching them, I remembered the conversation we had when deciding the setlist last week.
“Hey, don’t you want to do five songs after all? Including ‘Boat’.”
“But the allotted time is 25 minutes, right? Even if we just add up all five songs, it’ll exceed 25 minutes. Four songs and the MC is the limit.”
“I guess you’re right...”
While Ichikawa and Sako were groaning and racking their brains, I spoke up.
“There’s a way to do five songs without shortening the time.”
““Hmm...?””
With full confidence, I laughed and said,
“We just have to bring ‘Kyousou’ to the end of the main set.”
Please, somehow, please...!
Whether my prayer was heard or not, eventually the applause changed its form.
“““Encore! Encore!”””
...Good, our strategy worked.
Ichikawa giggled, and Sako breathed a sigh of relief. I also let out a chuckle.
...No, seriously, I’m so glad! I was so scared! Dangerous, dangerous, if an encore hadn't come, this would have been so uncool! Thank you everyone! Thank you, ‘Kyousou’!
“Thank you for the encore!” Ichikawa grinned.
“Please let me sing just one more song.”
“““Yay!!!”””
The venue was at its peak excitement.
“I couldn't sing the lyrics to this song for a long time. ...Actually, until this very moment, I haven't been able to sing it with the band once.”
She began to tell the story.
“I didn't have the courage. When I was alone... I couldn't speak up, and at that time, thanks to having companions, I gained courage. But once I had companions, this time I was afraid of losing them, and I lost my courage again.”
Ichikawa spoke with troubled eyebrows.
“When you’re stuck in such a difficult loop, what should you do...?”
The audience listened to her story with solemn faces.
“I still don't have the answer at all. I don't know if what I’m about to do is right. Even so,”
Ichikawa took on the face of amane.
“I won’t lie about my feelings.”
And then, she took a deep breath.
“...Alright.”
Then, she turned back toward me softly.
“...I’m going to sing it.”
Being told that in her natural voice, I gave a firm nod in return.
“Well then, please listen to ‘Your Song’.”
* * *
‘Your Song’
Following a contrail that looked like it was drawn with lime on the schoolyard
The way home where only two sets of footsteps ring out
I wonder what you’re thinking? You’re always spaced out somewhere
Doing nothing but poor responses
I don’t know what kind of feeling this is
But I think, I wish we’d never reach the railroad crossing
Turning seven corners, crossing the signal, and then straight for 200 meters
The warning light announcing the end of the journey
I wonder what you’re thinking? The western sky beyond you
Looks lonelier than usual
I don’t know what kind of feeling this is
But I think, I wish the railroad crossing would never open
The sunset illuminating your profile, both clever and clumsy
Melts into violet at the speed of the earth’s rotation
The words I hid in the loud sound of the train passing by were
“I just wanted you to be there”
* * *
Solemnly, yet as if moving forward with echoing footsteps.
Stepping on everything, savoring everything, I captured each of Ichikawa’s precious words and struck them out as sound.
Sako, while smiling gently, played a soft bassline as if to push her along that path.
* * *
Happiness, fun, since meeting you
Pain, sadness, because you gave them to me
So you see
Selfish me thinks
I want loneliness and happiness from you too
I know what kind of feeling this is
But if I put it into words, into a song, it seems like it might break
What I can say is up to here
* * *
Again, Ichikawa took a deep breath and sang out.
* * *
Hey, are you listening?
* * *
Here, Sako and I stopped our instruments.
Then, Ichikawa turned back for a fleeting moment.
After looking me straight in the eyes, she sang the final phrase.
* * *
This is your song.
* * *
Quietly, quietly, the song ended.
Leaving me stunned and Sako looking gently exasperated, Ichikawa faced forward again.
“...Thank you very much!”
Even I, with my poor reading comprehension, understood.
This was a love song.
And a straightforward love song at that, with no way to disguise it.
““““Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!””””
A moment later, a cheer that seemed ready to explode arose.
Early after our performance, as the grand finale, the audience began to disperse.
When we finished cleaning up and stepped off the stage, Azuma was waiting for us in the wings.
“Amane, Sakohasu, Konuma, good job!!”
“Wow, good job~!”
“Good job.”
“G-Good job... Hey, Ichikawa, that was...”
“Amane-san!!”
Just as I was about to speak, Ariga-san, looking deeply moved, called out.
“Ariga-san...!”
And then, Ariga-san hugged Ichikawa tightly.
“You did so well...!”
“Yes...!”
After the hug, she placed her hands on Ichikawa’s shoulders and continued talking with a beaming smile.
“With this, you can re-debut without any complaints!”
““Oh...!!””
My previous question vanished for a moment, and my heart felt like it would burst with joy. Beside me, Azuma also showed a full smile.
“Especially the song before the encore was great. Was it ‘Kyousou’? There’s no better song for a restart than that, right?”
Ariga-san continued to speak passionately.
“Let’s make that ‘Kyousou’ the single, and first release just that one song as a digital exclusive! And then, and then...”
To the unstoppable Ariga-san, Ichikawa small-ly raised her hand.
“Um, Ariga-san.”
“Hmm? What is it?”
Ariga-san looked at Ichikawa with sparkling eyes.
“Um... I’m not the one who made ‘Kyousou’.”
“...Eh?”
However, at that confession, the sparkle vanished in an instant.
“What do you mean...?”
To the head-tilting Ariga-san, Ichikawa took a breath and announced in one go.
“That song was composed by Konuma-kun, and Yuri over there wrote the lyrics.”
“Is that so...?”
Ariga-san looked at us with a surprised face.
Azuma and I couldn't help but look away slightly.
Taking that silence as confirmation,
“Hmm... I see. But if that’s the case...”
Ariga-san held her head as if troubled. Then, she looked up.
“...I’m sorry. In that case, you can’t debut as you are.”
“Eh...!?”
Azuma’s face contorted.
“Is it not okay if it’s a song these two made?”
When Sako asked from the side, Ariga-san announced with a look of genuine regret.
“Yeah, that’s no good. amane is a ‘genius singer-songwriter.’ We need to continue marketing her as a singer who can sing her own thoughts in her own words and music.”
“Then, the encore song! Amane made that one entirely herself...!”
Azuma pressed on, but Ariga-san gently shook her head at that too.
“I don’t know who that song was for, but it’s too personal, the scale is too small, and it’s not suitable as a comeback song. It might be a good song, though.”
“Is that how it works...?” Azuma frowned.
“...It’s cruel, but there are plenty of other cute girls who are good at singing but can’t make music or lyrics.”
“But amane-sama’s singing isn't just good, it’s something that pierces the heart!”
“That kind of thing!”
Ariga-san interrupted Azuma with a slightly louder voice.
“I’m the one who understands that best...!”
She bit her lower lip and continued.
“...But it’s no good. I can’t change the marketing strategy on my own authority. ...So,”
And then.
She looked toward Azuma and me.
“I have a request for you two.”
Slowly, she bowed her head deeply.
“A request...?”
To us, who were bewildered, Ariga-san spoke quietly yet firmly.
“Please let this song be released as one made by amane.”
At her incredibly sincere attitude, I was confused.
I had thought ‘adults’ were more tyrannical, violent, and greedy.
“...You mean, as a ghostwriter?”
When I asked softly, Ariga-san continued, still with her head bowed.
“That’s what it would come down to.”
“If I can’t get this song from you two, then amane’s re-debut will be shelved.”
Azuma interjected with a question.
“Conversely, if we make this amane’s song, can amane-sama definitely re-debut?”
“Yes. I will definitely make her re-debut. I promise.”
“I see...”
Looking at the deeply bowed head, I scratched my cheek.
Seriously, this sincere adult named Ariga-san seems to be taking things too heavily.
Originally, my music was made for ‘amane,’ and Azuma was likely the same.
So, nothing would really change.
It was nothing to not announce my song as my own.
I think it’s truly an amazing thing.
The more I think about it, what a perfect ending. My song being sung by amane, and it being heard all over Japan as amane’s song.
It’s too great.
It’s a dream-like outcome I never even dared to imagine.
That day.
The very first contract I made with Ichikawa had two points.
‘I want you to never say that I’m the one who made the songs.’
‘Someday, let me hear amane’s song in amane’s voice.’
With this method, both of those could be fulfilled, and for both me and Ichikawa, all our wishes would come true.
I was originally willing to give up anything for that.
I had never told anyone I was making music anyway, and I didn't want to.
Ah, so things like this really can happen.
While scratching my cheek, I whispered in my heart.
I, a bedroom musician loner, will become a ghostwriter for that genius beautiful girl.
“...I don’t want that.”
Before I knew it, my voice had leaked out.
“Konuma...!?”
...Hey, what am I saying?
“I don’t want that.”
I should have wrapped it up beautifully just now.
“Takuto...!”
If I smile and nod at this, amane can debut again.
Then, I’ll be able to listen to amane’s performances again.
I wonder what kind of songs will be born? Surrounded by professional musicians, in the best recording environment, I’ll be able to hear my favorite music again. I’ll be able to hear many more songs.
She might even do live shows. I wonder what amane’s performance would look like from the audience, watching with no strings attached?
I’m excited, my heart is racing. I’m looking forward to it, and I’m happy.
But.
But, I can’t lie anymore.
To the world.
And to my own heart.
“This song is a song I made.”
“Konuma-kun...!”
Ichikawa tightly bit her lip.
“It’s a song I, Takuto Konuma, made, Yuri Azuma put lyrics to it, Sako Hasu played bass on it, and Amane Ichikawa sang it—and only then does it become this song.”
I couldn't stop anymore.
“It’s our music, ours alone, and I can’t hand it over to anyone else.”
I took a sharp breath.
“So, I can’t accept that proposal.”
When I told her that, Ariga-san raised her head and looked me straight in the eye.
“Even if amane can’t debut again?”
“...Yes.”
I no longer hesitated. I nodded firmly and clearly.
“You’re cool, Konuma-kun.”
Then, Ichikawa smiled and spoke up.
“Ariga-san, I’ve finally... stopped being alone.”
“Amane-san...”
“I hadn't been able to tell Ariga-san yet, but,”
With an attitude many times more resolute than mine, she smiled fearlessly.
“The singer-songwriter known as amane no longer exists in this world.”
“Amane...!” Azuma gasped.
“amane is the name of our band, which can only be done by us.”
At those words, Ariga-san’s eyes widened.
“The singer-songwriter amane will never debut again. I can only consider a debut as the band amane.”
Hearing that far,
“Your core strength hasn't changed...”
Ariga-san laughed as if exasperated.
“...Alright. In that case, let me give you one test.”
The manager made a new proposal.
“A test...?”
“Yes, a test to measure whether you can debut as a band.”
I wonder what she’s suddenly talking about...?
As I stood bewildered, Ariga-san stared at me intently.
“A question for Konuma-kun.”
“Y-Yes!”
“To you, what is Amane Ichikawa?”
“Huh...?”
At the sudden question, I couldn't help but frown.
“Depending on the answer, I might be able to let you debut as the band amane, or I might not. Of course, not as the singer-songwriter amane either.”
Ariga-san explained the rules briefly while keeping her eyes fixed on mine.
I see, so this is the test.
Apparently, depending on this answer, amane might be able to debut as a band.
Now, what should I answer?
...No, that’s not it. I won’t make a mistake again. It’s only about what I want to answer.
I gave the answer that was obvious, the one that had finally solidified.
“amane is... my admiration.”
“Konuma-kun...!”
I continued to speak.
“She is my admiration, and for me, a guidepost. A goal.”
That was the answer I had come up with that day.
“I want to make music that changes amane’s life.”
When I reached that point,
“Haa...”
Ariga-san let out a sigh.
“Too bad, you failed the test.”
As if disappointed by my answer, she continued.
“Admiration is basically just romantic feelings, right? Romance is forbidden within a band. If feelings get tangled, the band will break up. It might be fine for a high school band, but I can’t let you become pros. The risk is too high.”
Ariga-san picked up her bag, looking disappointed.
“amane’s debut was my greatest wish, but I guess it can’t be helped...”
As Ariga-san turned her back,
“...The conversation isn't over yet.”
I called out to stop her.
“Takuto...?”
“amane is my admiration. But Amane Ichikawa is different.”
“Hah...?”
“Amane Ichikawa is not my ‘admiration.’ She’s just a classmate, and just a band member.”
Ariga-san frowned deeply.
“...Did you think such child’s play would work? You failed with amane, but you think if you say ‘I’m not admiring Amane Ichikawa herself,’ you can debut as a band?”
To the glaring Ariga-san,
“No, that’s not it.”
I spoke back, not backing down.
“...Then what is it?”
I suddenly looked at the three of them.
“Sorry, Sako, Azuma...”
“Konuma...?”
“...Sorry, Ichikawa.”
“Konuma-kun...?”
Ichikawa’s eyes wavered.
I might hurt them. I might fail their expectations.
I might make them fall into disappointment, disillusionment, or despair, and things might become irreparable.
I might crush the brilliant future the three of them had envisioned.
Even so, I have to tell the truth.
“The result won’t change.”
“Yes?”
I exhaled deeply.
‘I won’t lie about my feelings.’
Because I can’t lie anymore. To the world, or to myself.
I’ve always lacked confidence. I wonder how many times I thought, ‘Someone like me.’ I always, always thought there was nothing I was needed for, nothing I could give.
If I try to get something, I despair that I won’t get it. And yet, the things I finally manage to get, I only ever lose.
That’s why I was afraid to realize it. I was afraid of getting hurt.
But even if it doesn't reach, even if it’s meaningless. Even so. I won’t run anymore. I won’t blame anyone else anymore. I’ll face my own ‘truth’.
“Even so, I—”
And then, I took a sharp breath. My mind felt like it was going blank. It was hot. My throat was so dry it hurt. My fingers were trembling. My eyes were moist.
Everything might end with this. At the very least, everything would change. Even so, I have to say it. And then, I’ll go to a new world. I’ll take everything until today with me. With this one word.
“I am in love with Amane Ichikawa, as the one and only special girl.”
Again, a classroom filled with sunset-colored air. The cleanup for the school festival was over, and only I and one other person remained in the classroom. Amane Ichikawa. Beautiful, with excellent grades. Her straight black semi-long hair suited her image perfectly. She was sociable but never acted fawningly, and her dignified presence made her popular with both boys and girls alike. Plus, she was good at singing and could play the guitar. And she could sing songs she composed herself, with lyrics she wrote herself. She was the picture-perfect beautiful girl. And...
“We couldn’t debut, huh?”
“Yeah...” I scratched my cheek.
* * *
‘I am in love with Amane Ichikawa, as the one and only special girl.’
* * *
To the words I declared with death-defying resolve.
“...Ahahahaha!”
Ariga-san, for some reason, was laughing hysterically.
“Ariga-san...?”
“Ah, sorry, sorry!”
Ariga-san put her hands together in front of her face and said,
“Now, for the announcement of the test results.”
Then, like a certain quiz show, Ariga-san took a loooong pause.
“...Of course, you failed!”
She said it with an innocent smile that didn't match the words.
“But, Konuma-kun.”
Then, she spoke with a gentle, serious face.
“You yourself surely have the talent to move people’s hearts. So, if the four of you absolutely want to debut as a band, then rise up through the regular route.”
“The regular route...?”
“Auditions, scouting at live houses. Anyway, come up here without using my connections.”
Ariga-san chuckled and said,
“I’ll be looking forward to that day.”
“Ariga-san...!”
After a final light hug with Ichikawa, Ariga-san left.
“She was an amazing person...”
“...Yeah, she was.”
Ichikawa nodded with flushed cheeks. As I watched her retreating figure blankly, I was slapped on the back quite hard from behind. Looking back, Azuma was smiling happily. And then, she gave me a fist bump to the chest.
“You found your ‘truth,’ didn't you, Konuma?”
“...Yeah.”
“Takuto,”
I looked toward the voice.
“Current Takuto is—”
With a full smile, Sako said,
“Was like a huge firework!”
* * *
“Hey, Konuma-kun.”
“Hmm?”
Ichikawa, perched on the corner of a desk, called out to me softly.
“Could you say it one more time, properly, not to Ariga-san, but to me?”
“...Say what?”
“There’s no way you don't know, right?”
No, there’s no way I don't know. But it’s too embarrassing and too awkward.
However, I’ve already decided not to turn back.
“...I like you, Amane Ichikawa.”
When I told her that,
“...I like you too, Takuto Konuma.”
Ichikawa said that.
“O-Oh...”
As I thought, that song was directed at me...
Interrupting those thoughts, Ichikawa continued to speak bashfully.
“Um, Konuma-kun... You might have noticed, but I’m actually quite the jealous type.”
“Eh?”
At the sudden topic, I let out a silly voice.
“I’ve been feeling hazy for a long time, wondering why it wasn't me.”
“What was...?”
“This was.”
The moment I looked at Ichikawa, wondering what she was talking about.
“Mmph...”
Her face drew close, and for just an instant.
A soft sensation was pressed against my lips.
“Ichi, kawa...”
The face that pulled away immediately looked up at me with moist, upturned eyes.
“That was my first time! It seems like it wasn't your first time, Konuma-kun...?”
At her sulky expression, my heart raced too much.
“It wasn't my first time, but,”
I ended up blurting out what I was thinking.
“I think... the last time I... do that, it will be with Ichikawa...”
“...With Ichikawa?”
With a mischievous smile, she peered into my face.
“...With Amane.”
Then, she whispered in a small voice, blushing.
“Saying something like a proposal...”
There were the two of them, their cheeks dyed the same color as the sunset. And even in this situation, I found myself searching for a melody in my head, wondering what kind of song would suit this moment. Just as I laughed at my own absurdity.
“‘Hey, if there was just one reason for being born,’”
She also began to sing a new song, in her own voice.
“‘It might be a moment like this.’”
After letting me hear the ultimate melody and ultimate lyrics just for me, she smiled—not with the face of amane, but with the face of Amane.
“Right, Takuto-kun?”