“Until the day I met you, Konuma-kun, I was a ‘loner.’”
That was a shocking confession to me.
“Ichikawa, a loner...?”
“Yeah, that’s right.”
I felt like she had said something similar at Firefly Pond, but I had brushed it off back then since she said it so jokingly.
...No, but could that really be true? I feel like she said something about a loner boy and a normie girl doing this or that... No, I won’t touch that subject any further.
Seeing my confusion, Ichikawa laughed, “Ahaha.”
“Konuma-kun, you don’t have to make that face! Your brow is twitching, you know?”
As she said that, she gently rubbed the space between my eyebrows with her index and middle fingers.
Excuse me, has natural physical contact become okay now...? I’m not used to this at all...
As I reflexively squirmed, those beautiful fingers softly pulled away.
“I mean, think about it. Since that day, I’ve basically been going home with you every day, right? If I had friends to go home with, I’d be saying, ‘Amane has a promise to go home with friends today~ Sorry~!’ and going with someone else, right?”
“T-True...”
The idea of walking home with someone was outside the scope of my common sense, so I hadn’t questioned it at all, but it might be just as Ichikawa said.
...I can’t help but feel a bit of malice in her tone for the version of her that has friends. Actually, that tone—she’s imitating someone, isn’t she?
“Wait, but...?”
I thought of something that didn’t seem very ‘loner-like’ about Ichikawa.
“But, Ichikawa, you’re the president of the Rock Club. Does a loner really become a president? Is it that pattern where a person with no friends gets forced to be the class representative...?”
“Geez, if you said that to our class rep, they’d be mad at you, you know?”
Ichikawa said that as she started walking again. No, Ichikawa-san, you just did something that would definitely make the class rep mad, didn’t you?
“Becoming the president was just, simply, because I was the most suitable. Oh, I don’t mean skill-wise. See, I’m the only second-year who only belongs to the Rock Club. Everyone else is dual-banding. ...Ah!”
“What is it...?”
Suddenly, Ichikawa smiled brightly and clapped her hands.
“Now, there’s one more, isn’t there?”
She said that and peered into the face of the other dedicated Rock Club member (me).
“I guess so...”
“Konuma-kun and I are loner-mates!”
Don’t use such nonsensical words. Also, you’re close. You smell good.
“Loners are loners because they don’t have mates...”
“Ahaha, that’s true too.”
Actually, ‘loner-mate’ is an amazing word that contradicts itself in just a few syllables.
“But, that’s how it is.”
Ichikawa smiled gently, but looked a bit lonely.
“I have Konuma-kun now, and Yuri, and Sako-san, and I’ve made other people I can call friends. I’m not a loner anymore. Because I found loner-mates, I stopped being a loner.”
“I see...”
She was saying something complicated, but the story was simple.
“Because you’re not a loner anymore, you have precious things and things you don’t want to lose. And because of that, you’ve become afraid of showing your songs and lyrics?”
“Yeah... I guess that’s it.”
“Is that so...”
I groaned.
That was almost the same as the reason I couldn’t write music.
“I think I understand that feeling, probably.”
“Eh, really?”
Then, Ichikawa looked at me with surprise.
“Then, Konuma-kun, too...?”
She asked with a meaningful look.
“Yeah. I realized that somewhere along the line, I had started seeking stability. Or rather, I was unconsciously about to give up on reaching out...”
“I see... Konuma-kun was like that too...”
Ichikawa fiddled with her bangs. Were her cheeks red because they were illuminated by the setting sun?
“Then, hey. Why did you become able to write music, Konuma-kun?”
After a short breath, Ichikawa asked.
“Hmm...”
How should I answer?
It felt like many things, really many things, intertwined before I was finally able to take a step forward...
But, if there’s one thing I can tell Ichikawa now.
“I guess... after thinking and thinking, it was the moment I thought, ‘I have no choice but to make the song I want to hear most in the world.’ That’s when my vision cleared up.”
Then, Ichikawa nodded with a serious face.
“I see... in your case, that’s what it was, Konuma-kun.”
“Yeah, exactly. In my case.”
Surely, the logic, sensations, and methodologies for escaping a slump are all different. It’s not just ‘different for everyone.’
Even for me, I don’t know if I’ll be able to escape the next slump using the same words.
Then, what words would resonate with Ichikawa?
At that moment, I remembered what Ichikawa had said before Rock On.
‘Today, now, at this moment, I can definitely say I’m glad I debuted. Because. If I hadn’t debuted, Konuma-kun wouldn’t have made music, and Yuri wouldn’t have written lyrics. Then, “Daily Life” wouldn’t have been born, right?’
Maybe the key to Ichikawa being able to sing her lyrics lies there.
Just then, the two of us stopped in front of a railroad crossing.
The alarm went ding-ding-ding-ding... echoing around us.
“Hey, Ichikawa. If you could debut again, more people would hear amane’s music, right?”
Perhaps a bit confused by the sudden question, she tilted her head.
“Hmm, I think that’s true, but...?”
“Then, there will definitely be even more people who like amane’s songs, just like me and Azuma, right? Then, more people will have their lives changed by amane’s music. That number wouldn’t even compare to just me and Azuma. If that happens, Ichikawa, you’ll be even less of a loner than you are now, won’t you?”
It’s just a hypothesis.
But to get closer to that state, maybe some risks are worth overcoming.
“So, you’re saying I should try my best to sing for the possibility of having more people hear it...?”
I nodded.
A slight wrinkle appeared between Ichikawa’s brows.
Ichikawa bit her lip for a moment, then softly opened her mouth.
“I just...”
The train passed through the crossing with a roar, drowning out the rest of her words to my ears.
I couldn’t read Ichikawa’s lips as they moved then.
“Sorry, can you say that again?”
The roar faded, and the crossing gate opened.
“...No! ...I just said that Konuma-kun really hasn’t changed.”
She smiled as she said that and moved forward.
Was that it...? Well, if Ichikawa says so, then I guess it is. I don’t know what part of me hasn’t changed or if that’s a good thing, but anyway, I continued what I was trying to say.
“Besides,”
To me, it was something so obvious it hardly needed saying, but I felt I had to convey it anyway.
“Azuma and Sako won’t leave you, no matter what amane’s lyrics are. At the very least, I definitely won’t leave.”
When I said that, Ichikawa turned back. Her eyes were trembling slightly.
“...Really? Do you promise?”
Just how little does she trust me...?
“Yeah, I promise.”
I said it firmly, looking into those trembling eyes.
Then, Ichikawa finally gave a bashful smile.
“I see... yeah. Okay. Thanks... Sorry, please wait just a little. It won’t be right away, but I’ll manage to be able to sing by the school festival.”
Ichikawa nodded softly.
“Yeah, it’ll be fine. You’re amane, after all.”
I nodded back.
...
........
Uhh...
Isn’t the atmosphere getting a bit embarrassing?
I immediately joked around to change the mood.
“B-But well! Since you’re in that state, it’s the same as not being able to write lyrics yet, so I win our race!”
“Ahaha, I guess so.”
Ichikawa laughed.
“But, putting the race aside, I definitely won’t lose the ‘showdown’.”
Ichikawa’s expression shifted, and she looked at me with challenging eyes.
‘Then, why don’t you and Yuri make a song that surpasses “My Song”?’
“Hmm, why?”
When I asked...
She took a deep breath, just like she always did.
“Because, for you, I want the ‘song you want to hear most in the world’ to always be my song!”
In front of the station at sunset, Ichikawa smiled.
“That’s the one thing I don’t want to give up to anyone.”